Ifs Quotes by Dennis Miller · Page 2

Laughter is one of the great beacons in life because we don't refract it by gunning it through our intellectual prism. What makes us…

— Dennis Miller

It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark.

— Dennis Miller

Drop the veneer periodically and be like "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this."

— Dennis Miller

I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from…

— Dennis Miller

American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.

— Dennis Miller

Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.

— Dennis Miller

I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep…

— Dennis Miller

Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head.

— Dennis Miller

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

— Dennis Miller

Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal.

— Dennis Miller

Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet!

— Dennis Miller

I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.

— Dennis Miller