If bumblebee leavings and stump paste are so good for you, why can't any of those guys (in the health stores) grow… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
The interesting thing about class warfare is that it's only class warfare if it's up, not down. If you talk about welfare… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
I suppose that there are endeavors in which self-confidence is even more important than it is in writing -- tightrope walking comes… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
There's always a source for humor [in politics]. If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers? — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
Sometimes, if I had until the next day to turn the story in, I'd head home, finding that the knot in the… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
Kerr's Three Rules for a Successful College: Have plenty of football for the alumni, sex for the students, and parking for the… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
“If Lincoln freed the slaves and preserved the Union, how come 'Lincolnesque' just means tall?” — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
Following the Rumanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away... Following the Jewish tradition, a dispenser of schmaltz… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
"Law professors were never like economics professors," a Harvard Law professor told me. "If you disagreed with someone, you didn't call him… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
If General Haig is so smart, why did he finish 214th (out of 310) in his graduating class at West Point? Does… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
“I am firmly committed to the proposition that whoever is in power is exceedingly silly.... And that goes for the opposition as well.” — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
People, not just reporters, are more interested in politics than in government, so the actual issues wouldn't be something that interested them. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
Perhaps we've time to have a look at the Number Thirty-One bus queue before we turn in. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
“All White House hopefuls we forewarn: You'll have to prove that you were born. Before Trump hits the state of granite, He must identify… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
If bumblebee leavings and stump paste are so good for you, why can't any of those guys (in the health stores) grow full beards? — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
Avoid restaurants with names that are improbable descriptions, such as the Purple Goose, the Blue Kangaroo or the Quilted Orangutan. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
I don't cook. I don't know anything about food. I've never reviewed a restaurant. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
Fairs are good places to eat, particularly for stand-up eaters--which is one of the kinds of eaters I am, although when I eat standing… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
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