I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
By the way, did you fellows know that a hummingbird weighs as much as a quarter? Do you think a hummingbird also… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
You know, I used to say, when people say, 'How do you think about what to write about in the poems every… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
What campaigns are for is weeding out the people who, for one way or another, weren't making it for the long haul. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
The way I read Billy Carter's testimony, he was a model citizen himself until the voters went and ruined his life by… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
The ceiling on taxation of capital gains reflects the national belief that speculation is a more worthwhile way to make a living… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
Once, in Lisbon, I tried my best to work the phone book in a way that would assuage a longing [Alice and… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
“I am firmly committed to the proposition that whoever is in power is exceedingly silly.... And that goes for the opposition as well.” — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
People, not just reporters, are more interested in politics than in government, so the actual issues wouldn't be something that interested them. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
Perhaps we've time to have a look at the Number Thirty-One bus queue before we turn in. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
“All White House hopefuls we forewarn: You'll have to prove that you were born. Before Trump hits the state of granite, He must identify… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
If bumblebee leavings and stump paste are so good for you, why can't any of those guys (in the health stores) grow full beards? — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
Avoid restaurants with names that are improbable descriptions, such as the Purple Goose, the Blue Kangaroo or the Quilted Orangutan. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
I don't cook. I don't know anything about food. I've never reviewed a restaurant. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
Fairs are good places to eat, particularly for stand-up eaters--which is one of the kinds of eaters I am, although when I eat standing… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
