Facebook is now like home. If you don't come back in 24 hours it means you are either lost, dead, sick or… — Pacifiersucker Copy Share Image
What is more awkward? The way Dora The Explorer stares at you after she asked you a question or the moment of… — Avalon Copy Share Image
“I don't want to start Any blasphemous rumours But I think that God's Got a sick sense of humour And when I… — Martin L. Gore Copy Share Image
I guess my height has hurt me as much as it's helped me. In comedy people don't mind casting tall women next… — Allison Janney Copy Share Image
“When they’re together, the world could fall apart around them and they’d never notice or care as long as they have each… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
“Right. Because if you have trouble putting ketchup and mustard on a hot dog, you should totally move on to saving lives.” — Huntley Fitzpatrick Copy Share Image
And realising that humour is the most powerful way to make a political statement and say the things that you want to… — Michael Moore Copy Share Image
My parents' divorce left me with a lot of sadness and pain and acting, and especially humour, was my way of dealing… — Jennifer Aniston Copy Share Image
“Due to budget constraints I've rewritten the script, condensing all four of the Twilight Opuses into one epic screenplay. We'll shoot it… — Lola Salt Copy Share Image
“Eros mumbled something. "I'm sorry?" said Aphrodite. "Whatwouldjesusdo." "What would Jesus do?" said Aphrodite. "Let me tell you something. Jesus was a… — Marie Phillips Copy Share Image
“I’ll always be your friend,” he said. “Your best friend, if you let me. But I want to be your lover, too.”… — Robyn Carr Copy Share Image
“If it had been my decision, you would still be sleeping, and I would be hoping every hour of every night you… — Seanan McGuire Copy Share Image
What I find interesting is how close you can run the laughter along the seam of seriousness, and occasionally cross it, so… — Alan Ayckbourn Copy Share Image
“And then he heard Mad-Eye Moody’s voice, echoing in some distant chamber of his empty brain: Jump onto the desk . .… — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
“Miss Hunter leaned toward Stormy. “Well, as you also may know, ever since the year when Dylan Jackson was nominated for and… — John Zakour Copy Share Image
“Just now he was on a mind-blowing adventure and it was rapidly spiralling out of control, and this is what he needed… — Max Nowaz Copy Share Image
“Do you have any old copies of Dickens? Bookseller: We've got a copy of David Copperfield from 1850 for $150. Customer: Why… — Jen Campbell Copy Share Image
I personally feel that, for some people, their physique and looks work for them. And when you're deprived of both these aspects,… — Riteish Deshmukh Copy Share Image
“Of course they were eaten,” he retorted, his eyes flashing in cold humour. “Trolls generally aren’t exactly renowned for being vegetarians.” — Adele Rose Copy Share Image
“Don’t get me wrong, we’re not the fucking Partridge family or anything. We don’t all go on picnics and hold hands.” — Neil Walker Copy Share Image
“Rhiannon's Law #16: If it looks like a rabbit, and it hops like a rabbit, run the other way and fast. That… — J.A. Saare Copy Share Image
“Congratulations. You've just been demoted from the "pity" sector to the "apathy" sector. To check the validity of this offer you can… — Sanhita Baruah Copy Share Image
“I knew what I had to do—I just didn’t like it. I’d have to blow the remaining two at the same time.… — Andy Weir Copy Share Image
“I jumped on Sinbad's bottle. Nothing happened. I didn't do it again. Sometimes when nothing happened it was really getting ready to… — Roddy Doyle Copy Share Image
“Although they probably know that some children were used and some children are used as miners, most adults are ignorant of the… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“If you kill me a thousand will take my place,‘ said the man, who was now backed against a wall. ‘Yes,‘ said… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Remember that the wit, humour, and jokes of most mixed companies are local. They thrive in that particular soil, but will not… — Lord Chesterfield Copy Share Image
“We are not subjects of an autocratic King, but are citizens of the country contributing to the advancement of our people who… — Nilantha Ilangamuwa Copy Share Image
“They have no sense of humour whatsoever – even Bunty has a sense of humour compared with our hosts. They have united… — Kate Atkinson Copy Share Image
“In the past five minutes, I had managed to tease my libido, scald my crotch, and catch a world-class elbow with my… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing… — Neil Armstrong Copy Share Image
“In his autobiography Stravinsky relates that the first music he remembers was made by a peasant, working his hand in his armpit… — Craig Raine Copy Share Image
“I wouldn’t have minded school if they taught you important things like how to have good sex and what brand of wine… — Ben Mitchell Copy Share Image
Tod laughed. He was always able to find the humour in even the creepiest situations. I'd thought that it was an undead… — Rachel Vincent Copy Share Image
“I had shaved my beard for her-a huge disappointment, because I’d enjoyed my three weeks looking like a bank robber.” — Jennifer Echols Copy Share Image
“I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I lied, I like your Star Wars sheets, you're not that bad of a driver,… — Gemma Halliday Copy Share Image
“Maybe midlife isn’t the crisis we joke about. Maybe it’s the moment you finally stop waiting—for permission, for perfection, for the "right"… — Bree Penfold Copy Share Image
“I have one important question to ask you before I kiss you.” Kiss her? Her eyes had possibly bulged out of their… — Cari Silverwood Copy Share Image
In all thy humours, whether grave or mellow, Thou'rt such a touchy, testy, pleasant fellow, Hast so much wit and mirth and… — Joseph Addison Copy Share Image
“All he'd done was lose her underwear and practically get her blown up. Hell. This had to be the absolute worst first… — Tara Janzen Copy Share Image
