Howard Tayler

Only cheaters prosper.

— Howard Tayler

“Does that mean that if we shave all the Ob'enn they'll be nice?”

— Howard Tayler

If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.

— Howard Tayler

“Maxim 13: Do unto others. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

— Howard Tayler

“Maxim 1: Pillage, then burn. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

— Howard Tayler

The spirit of the law is the least of the things we're prepared to violate.

— Howard Tayler

As long as we only have to lie to the enemy, it's honest enough for me. -Captain Tagon

— Howard Tayler

Judging by the sounds of general panic, I want a gun like that.

— Howard Tayler

“There are customers we serve, and customers we service. -Captain Andreyasn”

— Howard Tayler

“What do you think? Overkill?" "I don't believe there is any such thing. But in this case, 'yes, overkill.”

— Howard Tayler

“Maxim 16: Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

— Howard Tayler

“When the enemy of my enemy is willing to use plasma weapons inside a hotel, I think I can do better than…

— Howard Tayler

“Maxim 36: When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

— Howard Tayler

“Maxim 12: A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head. -The Seventy…

— Howard Tayler

“Maxim 5: Close air support and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

— Howard Tayler

“Yes, but none of them can steal my ship. None of them are smart enough to know that it was the right…

— Howard Tayler

“When I find the guy who torched that forest, I'm going to eat him. And I'm only going to half-cook him first.…

— Howard Tayler

“Captain, you have heard the charges. How do you plead? Before you answer, you should know that if you plead "guilty" you'll…

— Howard Tayler

“This document outlines our plan to perpetrate insurance fraud, insider trading, and character assassination. ...hopefully tripling our paycheck on this job. Okay,…

— Howard Tayler

“The way you blunder from one catastrophe to the next, it's a wonder the whole galaxy doesn't hate you. The galaxy is…

— Howard Tayler

Some survived due to advancements in engineering. Personally I'd take a vaccine over living in an iron lung. http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2012/01/what-america-looked-like-polio-children-paralyzed-in-iron-lungs/251098/

— Howard Tayler

“Captain, I'm fairly unique among artificial intelligences. I am FREE. I work for you because I want to. I fly your ship…

— Howard Tayler

“That's odd. It looks almost as if Nick is picking a fight with that elephant." "Well, the elephant started it." "That's irrelevant.…

— Howard Tayler

“AAAAIIIE! You're the guy with the things, and the thing that does that thing, and then you did that one thing! Oh,…

— Howard Tayler

“Air traffic control is going to have a steamy old fit on your dime, boy. They can get in line behind the…

— Howard Tayler

“Are you done briefing the company yet?" "We, um... Haven't gotten through the introductions yet." "Allow me: Time-traveling Kevyn Andreyasn, this is…

— Howard Tayler

“I'll leave you two alone. Morality might be contagious.”

— Howard Tayler

“They're holding flushes of face cards, and I think we're the pot.”

— Howard Tayler

“Now, let's hear some properly terrified screaming, puny humans!”

— Howard Tayler

“Maxim 37: There is no "overkill." There is only "open fire" and "reload." -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

— Howard Tayler

“Maxim 30: A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally…

— Howard Tayler

Maxim 3: An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks everybody. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

— Howard Tayler

“Maxim 10: Sometimes the only way out is through... through the hull. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

— Howard Tayler

“Maxim 8: Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally…

— Howard Tayler

“You know... confessing to avoid prosecution is a time-honored strategy. I don't want to be honored with time. Honor me with "slap-on-the-wrist,"…

— Howard Tayler

“We either need an overwhelming force advantage, or we need more information." "Reinforcements cut into our bounty, remember?" "It's unanimous. We need…

— Howard Tayler

Maxim 20: If you’re not willing to shell your own position, you’re not willing to win. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective…

— Howard Tayler

“Is it really 'pro bono' if a lawyer takes your case in exchange for explosives? -Captain Hartung”

— Howard Tayler

Spy' is such a short ugly word. I prefer 'espionage.' Those extra three syllables really say something.

— Howard Tayler

“A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.”

— Howard Tayler