Humour is learned behaviour, and I know exactly why I learned to be funny. I did it from a very early age.… — Greg Davies Copy Share Image
When I hear somebody talk about a horse or cow being stupid; I figure it's a sure sign that the animal has… — Tom Dorrance Copy Share Image
“The church has never been asked to explain anything, our speciality, along with ballistics, has always been the neutralisation of the overly… — José Saramago Copy Share Image
“BOTOLPHS (pl.n) Huge benign tumours which archdeacons and old chemistry teachers affect to wear on the sides of their noses.” — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“If we were not impressed by job titles, suits, and jargon, we would demand that financial advisors show us their personal bank… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“As it turns out, my acceptance of the heroin addict’s invitation to party may have been a case of poor judgement.” — emily austin Copy Share Image
“Are you sure I can't mend a shirt or darn a sock for you in trade? Anything?" "You can quit your yammerin'… — Karen Witemeyer Copy Share Image
“Let me go!" She tore off a mirror and brandished it in his face. "I mean it! I don't want to go… — Gina Damico Copy Share Image
“Mirabeau: “If you have been told to clear us from this hall, you must ask for orders to use force. We shall… — Hilary Mantel Copy Share Image
“His stomach could not tolerate the snails and lampreys and other rich food Captain Khorane so relished, and after his first meal… — George R.R. Martin Copy Share Image
What I see as specially English is the charm - everyone is so polite. Being restrained is part of the charm. And… — Danielle de Niese Copy Share Image
“Spiritually the jugs may be graduated thus: Just below the shoulder of the first bottle, serious and concentrated conversation. Two inches farther… — John Steinbeck Copy Share Image
“Yes, Cabbage: prison diplomacy. It’s called offering the newcomer a very warm welcome. You can tell Mares that I made lots of… — Jonathan Dunne Copy Share Image
A lot of humour is about just enjoying life and spontaneity and because you make a joke that puts somebody down -… — John Cleese Copy Share Image
“Arkady's smile was probably intended to be reassuring, but it was a trifle too wide; with his wild white hair sticking out… — Bee Ridgway Copy Share Image
The great writers like Chekhov know that tragedy and laughter are just a few steps from each other ... but it took… — Vanessa Redgrave Copy Share Image
Common sense and a sense of humour are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humour is just common… — Clive James Copy Share Image
“A game?’ Rob spluttered. ‘A bloody game?’ He turned to face his father. ‘This is your bloody fault! I’m living your bloody… — Dougie Brimson Copy Share Image
“Saying that you do not remember something or someone is a less embarrassing or hurtful way of saying that you do not… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“We’re adults. I might be a little more of an adult if you’re counting years but I bet I have a lower… — Robyn Carr Copy Share Image
“I think that people's sexual preferences are a legitimate subject for humour, dirty humour if at all possible.” — Christopher Hitchens Copy Share Image
“In some cases, you can tell how somebody is being treated by their own boss from the way they are treating someone… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
We owe to one another all the wit and good humour we can command; and nothing so clears our mental vistas as… — Agnes Repplier Copy Share Image
Memmius would only be useless to him for a short time, but that he would remain useless to himself and the Republic… — Scipio Africanus Copy Share Image
“I can recall quite clearly the journey from Omaha to San Francisco which I made with the opera troupe; God had created… — Peter Ackroyd Copy Share Image
I can't decide whether I'm a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I'm a bad girl wrapped up… — C. JoyBell C Copy Share Image
“In my time first cousins did not meet like strangers. But we are learning modesty from the Americans, and old English ways… — Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu Copy Share Image
“How dense and literal it is. I thought it had a much more sophisticated brain." "Your mother is dense," Alif said wearily.… — G. Willow Wilson Copy Share Image
“O beautiful, to make escape And leave this world behind. Had I to stay another day I'd lose my fucking mind...” — Gregory Maguire Copy Share Image
“Just look at the fellow, standing there like a bloody Greek god. Do you think she chose him because of his intellect?”… — Lisa Kleypas Copy Share Image
“I am one of those servants – butlers usually – who respectfully points out when their master is about to do something… — Joe Dunthorne Copy Share Image
When somebody says something stupid to me, I usually alleviate it with laughter and humour. I make light of it to educate… — Tan France Copy Share Image
“Yossarian was moved by such intense pity for his poverty that he wanted to smash his pale. sad, sickly face with his… — Joseph Heller Copy Share Image
Seriousness is no more a guarantee of truth, insight, authenticity or probity, than humour is a guarantee of superficiality and stupidity. — Stephen Fry Copy Share Image
“I couldn't be fonder of you if you were my own son. But, well, if you lose a son, its possible to… — Dashiell Hammett Copy Share Image
My friends know that I have a silly sense of humour and I can be a little vulgar at times - but… — Carmen Electra Copy Share Image
“My name is Mr Bread." He began writing his name neatly on the board. "But you can call me Peter." Suddenly there… — David Walliams Copy Share Image
“That’s great, Grace, but in case you’ve forgotten, we’re supposed to kill vampires, not play nice and have lunch with them. -… — K. A. Last Copy Share Image
The journalists have obviously failed to capture my innate magnetism, humour and charisma, and they all need to be fired from their… — Alexei Sayle Copy Share Image
If there is a god, I think he has a sense of humour. He does not require human beings to protect him… — James K. Morrow Copy Share Image
