Humour Quotes · Page 23

I have a great sense of humour. I am teasing, taunting and authoritative.

— Suhasini Maniratnam

The humour of Dostoievsky is the humour of a barloafer who ties a kettle to a dog's tail.

— W. Somerset Maugham

“All I know about humour is that I don't know anything about it.”

— Fred Allen

“Ender began to eat, slowly and carefully, pretending not to notice he was the center of attention.”

— Orson Scott Card

Is not the decisive difference between comedy and tragedy that tragedy denies us another chance?

— John Updike

For me it's the funniest show on TV. 'Benidorm' is such old-school, 'Carry On,' panto humour. It's so warm.

— Martin Kemp

The whole [Scotch] nation hitherto has been void of wit and humour, and even incapable of relishing it.

— Horace Walpole

“Does that mean that if we shave all the Ob'enn they'll be nice?”

— Howard Tayler

One of the real ways out of conflict is humour. It builds bridges; it's a weapon against rigid ideology, narrow thinking, intolerance.

— Anthony McCarten

“I demoted him from The Best Man Ever to just The Best Man I’d Ever Met. Superman would have charged out (hell,…

— Kristen Ashley

Some people don't seem to be able to distinguish between humour and what you really feel. They forget that there's a difference…

— Limmy

“Where is Richard, do you know?" "Chopping onions on the back step. Oh, you mean Master Richard? Upstairs. Eating. Where's anybody?”

— Hilary Mantel

“My congratulations to you, sir. Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and…

— Samuel Johnson

It's tough making people laugh, as we have so much going on in our lives. We forget to see humour as part…

— Kirti Kulhari

“Yes, but none of them can steal my ship. None of them are smart enough to know that it was the right…

— Howard Tayler

I think that Americans find the Australian humour and the energy of Australians very refreshing - we are quite self-deprecating, we're light-hearted…

— Teresa Palmer

I have an agent in Hollywood and he's looking for material. If I get the offer and I feel I relate to…

— Carlos Cuaron

“For a moment it seemed as if he was going to lose his temper too. His strange, pale eyes all but glared…

— Diana Wynne Jones

“I told her about the time that I got so tired of you stealing the sheets that in my sleep-weary logic I…

— David Levithan

I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants of wit broken on me, because I have railed so long against marriage:…

— William Shakespeare

“Finn says, “No, ma’am,” as he enters the shop, where he gets poked directly in the chest by the fertility goddess. I…

— Maggie Stiefvater

“You better not be dead. This team is already overflowing with ankle spankers. I was looking forward to having more women around."…

— Lindsay Buroker

“Some drink to forget, I drink to remember. I drink in order to understand what I mean and to discover what I…

— Peter Ackroyd

“There was this other apocalypse this one time. And, well, I took off. But this time, I don't... I don't know." "Well,…

— Joss Whedon

Humour in its highest reach mingles with pathos: it voices sorrow for our human lot and reconciliation with it.

— Stephen Leacock

“You realise you’re going to owe me dinner after this, right?” “How does McDonald’s sound?” “Inadequate.”

— Sarah Mayberry

There is no accounting for taste and no taste for accounting.

— Kevin Byrne

“Cops do this every day, rifling closets and digging through your dildo drawer.”

— David Wong

“Ah, Klaas! Dear Klaas reverted to compost many years ago.”

— David Mitchell

I think the source of SpongeBob's humour is classic, and that's always appealing.

— Stephen Hillenburg

“After Puckoon I swore I'd never write another book. This is it”

— Spike Milligan

“He was pretty sure he hadn't dozed off as a snake. Usually, he slept like a dog.”

— Rick Riordan

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

— Groucho Marx

Was ever woman in this humour wooed? Was ever woman in this humour won?

— William Shakespeare

“The easiest way to make money is to be funny. The easiest way to be regarded as funny is to have money.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“So Basically I'm the Antichrist , and the whole world is fucked because of me" - Jordon Hanson.”

— Barry James

“A VIP area is nothing without not-so-important people.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“It just a fun game, until someone starts to win and then everyone else begins to cheat!”

— Andrew James Pritchard

Fancy and humour, early and constantly indulged in, may expect an old age overrun with follies.

— Isaac Watts

“When it comes to cleverness, I'm afraid that I was limited to alternate tuesdays...”

— Anonymous