The notion of a record is an obsolete remnant of the days of the 80-column card. — Dennis Ritchie Copy Share Image
“May as well have ox blood running through those veins,” I added, “You’re as stubborn as one.” — Katherine McIntyre Copy Share Image
All For One, And One For All Unfortunatly the Credo now days seems to be, every man for himself. — Rick Sutter Copy Share Image
Good women are no fun... The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made… — Mae West Copy Share Image
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me. — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
The Russians could have some (warheads) aimed at Japan, so if we act up they can destroy our economy. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You will never realize how wired your friends are until you start to describe them to someone else. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Pity the poor infant. Born perfect into the world from imperfect parents. — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
I'm a very jovial guy. I like to laugh, and when things strike me as funny, I don't hide the fact that… — Michael Rooker Copy Share Image
[They let] friendship with the leaders in China obscure our devotion to freedom and democracy when those kids set up in Tiananmen… — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The proverbial Englishman, we know from old chronicler Froissart, takes his pleasures sadly, and the Englishwoman goes a step further and takes… — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
In Manhattan, marriage is a trend. Couples kiss over their arugula and radicchio salads. They fondle each other's genitals while devouring their… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
“The most upsetting thing about Society’s attitude towards disabled people is that many millions of disabled people became disabled while trying to… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“...but as his father used to say when he had a few drinks taken, you couldn't expect bloody miracles when you were… — Joseph O'Connor Copy Share Image
The Japanese tend to communicate via nuance and euphemism, often leaving important things unsaid; whereas Americans tend to think they're being subtle… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God. Start thinking… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a… — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
“Allan praised Herbert for a job well done and for acting the part well. Herbert blushed, while dismissing the praise, saying that… — Jonasson, Jonas Copy Share Image
Close friends and relatives, while not meaning to do so, often handicap on through 'opinions' and sometimes though ridicule, which is meant… — Napoleon Hill Copy Share Image
“Princess. By S. Morgenstern. It's a kids' classic. Tell him I'll quiz him on it when I'm back next week and that… — William Goldman Copy Share Image
He was a long, stripy policeman, who flowed out of his uniform at odd spots, as if Nature, setting out to make… — P. G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
Man is but mortal: and there is a point beyond which human courage cannot extend. Mr. Pickwick gazed through his spectacles for… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
Dombey sat in the corner of the darkened room in the great arm-chair by the bedside, and Son lay tucked up warm… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image