There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was able to read poets that were - allowed me to be humorous without being silly. — Billy Collins Copy Share Image
“Life is nether food nor drink. But the faith of a dance dream.” — Lailah Gifty Akita Copy Share Image
If I ever lose my mind I hope some honest person will find it and take it to Lost and Found. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
My advice to the unborn is, don't be born with a gambling instinct unless you have a good sense of probabilities. — Jack Dreyfus Copy Share Image
“You can't do much for the poor, as they are not in with the right people.” — Will Cuppy Copy Share Image
“Masked by a pair of pink cotton panties, the man looks like some sort of deranged bank robber.” — Dave Lundy Copy Share Image
“Buddy I have lived through three wars and several major political skirmishes. You can't beat me down with your boring-to-death sales pitches.” — Anissa Rafeh Copy Share Image
Sailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
In Paris, the greatest expression of personal satisfaction known to man is the smirk on the face of a male, highly pleased… — Honore de Balzac Copy Share Image
Let me see you ride a donkey over my green again, and as sure as you have a head upon your shoulders,… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.' — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
“Just like how most if not all poor boys look up to and aspire to someday be rich men, most if not… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland,… — Paul Reiser Copy Share Image
“This was shaping up to be the worst conference call of my life, even worse than that time I accidentally clogged the… — Rick Gualtieri Copy Share Image
“The Deliverator's car has enough potential energy packed into its batteries to fire a pound of bacon into the Asteroid Belt. Unlike… — Neal Stephenson Copy Share Image
I went to school, majored in theatre, and said 'Mom, I have to choose my own destiny. I want to be an… — Arsenio Hall Copy Share Image
Everybody in New York, including police horses, dresses fashionably, and whenever I'm there, even in my sharpest funeral-quality suit with no visible… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The real Oxford is a close corporation of jolly, untidy, lazy, good-for-nothing humorous old men, who have been electing their own successors… — C. S. Lewis Copy Share Image
“For a moment the rank felt as though they had just returned from single-handedly conquering a distant province. They felt, in fact,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“I'm going to use them to track him down and thwart him." "Thwart?" Sarissa asked. "Thwart." I said. "To prevent someone from… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
“The photographer was lost for riposte, obvious though it should have been; instead he turned to run. At least his mind did.… — James Herbert Copy Share Image
Then, at the end of every hand, Miss Bolo would inquire with a dismal countenance and reproachful sigh, why Mr. Pickwick had… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
