“Life is way too short, so try to enjoy every minute of it with a sense of humor!” — Christina Scalise Copy Share Image
“And I thought kitty liter was the unlawful practice of discarding small felines along the roadside.” — Robert J. Morrissette Copy Share Image
“You have exactly 10 seconds to change that look of disgusting pity, into one of enormous respect!” — Max Bialystock Copy Share Image
A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange! — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
As I get older and write more books I'm definitely allowing the humorous side of my personality more rein in my work. — Colson Whitehead Copy Share Image
We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . . — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
“Lovely, not only did the truck look like it was on its last leg, it was going to take the environment with… — Adrienne Wilder Copy Share Image
But I'm saying we are loosing the people who are going to pay my social security. And that bothers me. — Joycelyn Elders Copy Share Image
“You know you're having a bad week when you call 911, the paramedics come to your house, and one of them notices… — Cherie Kephart Copy Share Image
Mr. Gorbachev has apparently stumbled onto one of the best-kept secrets in recent Soviet history: Communism doesn't work. — Frank Zappa Copy Share Image
“His only real financial failure came at the age of thirteen when, in an uncharacteristic error of judgement, he invested £200,000 of… — Mark Jackman Copy Share Image
It's often pointed out that in Cuban cinema there are too many comedies, but a sense of humor is so much part… — Fernando Perez Copy Share Image
This (French-Kissing) is a really sexy thing to do, according to the French people, although you should bear in mind that they… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
There is no decision to be more or less comic. I don't feel more or less humorous in my day-to-day. These things… — Alexis Taylor Copy Share Image
If we loved Steve Aylett, really loved him in the way that he deserves, a selfless love that genuinely wanted nothing save… — Alan Moore Copy Share Image
“The worst thing about the dead rising? (Other than, you know, all the zombies?) The smell. Nothing kills the mood like the… — Shawn Durnin Copy Share Image
“You’re thinking she doesn’t see your outfit, or the color of your shoes. What she does see is You! I think you… — Linda Armstrong Copy Share Image
“If you’ve never been in a men’s room, and have only set foot in the ladies’ room at most fine (and not… — Julia Kent Copy Share Image
I like to be as diverse as possible. I think the humorous side and the serious side are both elements of my… — Macklemore Copy Share Image
“A layer of fine powder coats his skin. “My lungs are turning to concrete,” Rob wheezes, hacking and spitting. “So are my… — Laura Kreitzer Copy Share Image
“...he switched on the [flashlight]. When he did so, he instantly became the center attraction to a rowdy mob of those gnats,… — P.G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging… — Peter Medawar Copy Share Image
“In my opinion, the person who created the torture device called gym class should be clobbered with an enormous frozen cucumber. Not… — Amy Holder Copy Share Image
Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. Here's an often overlooked accounting technique that can save you thousands… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If all else fails immortality can always be assured by adequate error. — John Kenneth Galbraith Copy Share Image
But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws, But get thee to a nunnery - go! — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Being able to write a tale within a Tweet some would say was mighty sweet” — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
If you appeal to the crowd, either by being humorous or brutal or eccentric, you gain favor. — Suzanne Collins Copy Share Image
“Awoke to find three vultures sitting on the fence. Realizing they were a portent of impending death I shot them.” — Bridget Allison Copy Share Image
“College = A place where you spend a ton of money for a piece of paper that says you're qualified.” — Korey Miracle Copy Share Image
I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“You’re a terrible woman Nox, but by the stars I love you beyond words themselves,” — K. K Weakley Copy Share Image
“We are flawed creatures with explosive feelings that subconsciously aspire to be non-violent sociopaths.” — Jayme K Copy Share Image
Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it. — George Burns Copy Share Image
“Shut up, you fool...Really. I’m running out of things to throw at you.” — K.M. Parr Copy Share Image
“I'm more of a dog person. But I admire cats and their ability to take so much while giving so little.” — Jeri Smith-Ready Copy Share Image
“Miss Green can call a turd a rose if she wants, but that don't mean people's going to be lining up to… — K. Martin Beckner Copy Share Image
The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead. — Marilyn Monroe Copy Share Image
![“...he switched on the [flashlight]. When he did so, he instantly became the center attraction to a rowdy mob of those gnats, moths, and beetles which collect in gangs and stay up late in the rural districts. They appeared to have been waiting for a congenial comrade to come along and give a fillip…” quote by P.G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb9/p-g-wodehouse-723_humorous_he-switched-on-the-flashlight-when-he-di_44308.png)
