“One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because… — Kelli Jae Baeli Copy Share Image
They should raise the alcohol age to 60, so at least you'd have something to look forward to at this point. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
“Just imagine how terrible it might have been if we’d been at all competent.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Lazy is a very strong word, I like to call it 'selective participation.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Who wants to go down the creepy tunnel inside the tomb first? — Riley Poole ” — Ann Lloyd Copy Share Image
“It seemed my self defense skills had that effect on people, I thought, remembering when I threw Halette over my shoulder in… — Elle Klass Copy Share Image
Nothing is as universal as some good scatalogical humor. Even if it means having to be a little silly or cheeky, I… — Sarah Kay Copy Share Image
“Only one English word adequately describes his transformation of the islands from worthless to priceless: magical.” — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“Are you calling me stupid?"says Emby. "I think I just did." Hayden laughs. "Hey, the Mouth Breather's right-unwinding does help people. If… — Neal Shusterman Copy Share Image
“Where ya goin’?” Coleen asked. “I’m taking Lena to dinner, then we’re going dancing.” Coleen threw a hand on her hip. “You… — Robin Alexander Copy Share Image
Laughter to begin with was probably glee at the misfortunes of others. The baring of the teeth in laughter hints at its… — Eric Hoffer Copy Share Image
“Life is a story. It’s full of chapters. And the beauty of life is that not only do you get to choose… — Kevin Hart Copy Share Image
Even if it's a thriller or a comedy, it's always a love story for me, and that's what I concentrate on, because… — Sydney Pollack Copy Share Image
And then, movie-wise, I'm writing a couple of things. They're all comedies. It's the only way I know. I'm also being sent… — Dan Mazer Copy Share Image
“The thing is, I was so bursting for the loo that I thought my bladder was going to explode. I could hardly… — Jill Mansell Copy Share Image
ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“Never dance in a puddle when there's a hole in your shoe (it's always best to take your shoes off first).” — John D. Rhodes Copy Share Image
“Jesus: I was nearly lynched by a mob made up of my hometown synagogue congregation.” — Rick Klaus Theis Copy Share Image
When ever I get a headache I take two tablet of aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy. — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
When you put Listerine in your mouth, it hurts. Germs do not go quietly. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Why would I want to get depressed by watching TV? I could do that just by stepping on the scale every morning.” — Max Brooks Copy Share Image
There is no decision to be more or less comic. I don't feel more or less humorous in my day-to-day. These things… — Alexis Taylor Copy Share Image
“You're a ring-wearing, save-yourself-for-marriage kind of girl. I dig that.” — E.C. Newman Copy Share Image
Kipling: Where's your sense of humor? Rebis: We're working on reconstructing it... — Grant Morrison Copy Share Image
Comedy should speak truth to power. It should always be aimed upward. When it's aimed downward, it's called bullying. — Jimmy Dore Copy Share Image
Holy Cow' is our effort in the right direction where with humour we make some pertinent points which we hope will get… — Sanjay Mishra Copy Share Image
“Patience slows down time and more can happen when time is slowed down. That’s the secret of patience.” — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
“Why don't you find out for yourself? Then you'll see the glass, hidden in the grass.” — Morrissey Copy Share Image
Comedy is still sexist. There is still this sense that women can't be trusted to be funny. — Rebecca Front Copy Share Image
“I would love to slap you right now, but I’m currently wielding a nine pound ball and I’m afraid that would be… — Sara Wolf Copy Share Image
“What you don't know may not hurt you, but what you don't remember always does.” — Gerald M. Weinberg Copy Share Image
“Who the hell is that?! Some call her Satan. Others, Beelzebub. She goes by many names.” — Susan Elizabeth Phillips Copy Share Image
“Why do I seem to have this effect on women? They're around me and they cry.” — Tracy Guzeman Copy Share Image
“Was that tragedy? Or was that comedy? Was there really any difference?” — Orson Scott Card Copy Share Image
The world is full of idiots that is the best way to explain intelligence. — Jeremy Limn Copy Share Image
“Some honest people think it is better to know the ways of the devil without being evil.” — Janvier Chouteu-Chando Copy Share Image
“The woman serving me was wearing a white sports bra that looked like it had been mauled by tigers--desert isle chic. ” — Dave Eggers Copy Share Image
“I hate it when chocolates quickly melt on my fingers. I mean am I THAT HOT?” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Nicky, the van’s on fire!’ ‘Fuck the van, Willy! We got ourselves a prodigy child!” — Jonathan Dunne Copy Share Image
