“When bad things happen, I know you want to believe they are a joke, But sometimes life is scary and dark. That… — Adventure Time Copy Share Image
“One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures. (Face palm!)” — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“Painted on shirts went over so well I thought, why not painted on pants? Well, the big shot manager at Krusty Burger… — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but whoever looks at it when it has been in the house three days ? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sarina can be serious at times, but she's also funny. She makes us laugh a lot on the training ground with her… — Alex Greenwood Copy Share Image
In our world, all puns are beautiful and they are the highest form of comedy. — Greg Proops Copy Share Image
I have always employed humor, and I think it's absolutely crucial that we do because, among other things, humor is the only… — Gloria Steinem Copy Share Image
Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
“as to try to interest me about the less carnivora, when I know of what is before me." "I see," I said.… — Bram Stoker Copy Share Image
A lot of stand-up comedy is embarrassing: too many idiots doing it in orange neckties against brick walls. I find most sitcoms… — Tracey Ullman Copy Share Image
“Too bad I don't want to be an actress. Or a reality TV-star or something,'Quinn said. 'This would be such a great… — Jennifer E. Smith This is what happy looks like Copy Share Image
“They say that time is relative. I think the way it's treating me it's a distant one, maybe a bad uncle, and… — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
I did it a little bit in college, but now I've been doing it more. But yeah, it's not, I think you… — Chris Baio Copy Share Image
“Hermes smiled. "I knew a boy once ... oh, younger than you by far. A mere baby, really." Here we go again… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
If you tell the reader it's funny, then the audience is like an audience at a stand-up comedy club and they expect… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“In short, he was a dope. He often looked to Yossarian like one of those people hanging around modern museums with both… — Joseph Heller Copy Share Image
If people only knew how much I secretly hated them, they'd love me for holding it in. — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
I want to do different projects and be versatile. I don't want to get fixed into narrative comedy. — Jason Gann Copy Share Image
She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
I'm funny at home too, but not deliberately. My wife is usually laughing at me rather than with me. — Daniel Dae Kim Copy Share Image
“A nonhot boy stares at you and it is, at best, awkward and, at worst, a form of assault. But a hot… — John Green Copy Share Image
If I'm in a town for very long, usually I'll work out in the comedy club just to keep my chops or… — Ron White Copy Share Image
“Death devours not only those who have been cooked by old age; it also feasts on those who are half-cooked and even… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Any band that doesn't have a sense of humor has a little bit of a problem. — Jens Lekman Copy Share Image
“You look and sound like you could you use a stiff one."--Mark Willburn” — Madison Sevier Copy Share Image
When we realize finally that we aren't God's given children, we'll understand satire. Humor is really laughing off a hurt, grinning at… — Bill Mauldin Copy Share Image
“It's tough being AWESOME all the time, but the kids need someone to look up to!” — Comic Strip Mama Copy Share Image
If a man's able to laugh about himself, that's good. You can be in love with a man or share his bed,… — Sylvia Hoeks Copy Share Image
What is funny about us is precisely that we take ourselves too seriously. — Reinhold Niebuhr Copy Share Image
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. Fred Allen — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
“As a general rule, librarians are a kick in the pants socially, often full of good humor, progressive, and, naturally, well read” — Bill Hall Copy Share Image
The experienced pastor will recognize to which situation humor belongs and to which belongs sobriety. — Thomas Oden Copy Share Image
Things have to be funny first, and if they want to have a point, that's awesome. — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
“Solomon had a good thing going. He asked for wisdom and he got it, riches, and power. I think I'm going to… — Jochebed Gwamna Copy Share Image
“...doing the smoker's comedy act: he hunted automatically for an ashtray, didn't find one, tipped his ashes into the palm of his… — Patricia Nell Warren Copy Share Image
Remember, in China when you are one in a million, there are 1,300 other people just like you. — Thomas Friedman Copy Share Image
You must never imagine, that just because something is funny, it is not also dangerous. — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says 'Trust me, you dont want to know.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I grew up with interesting and funny people. We made our own fun. You had to use your imagination. — James Acaster Copy Share Image
