Laughing at your own texts before you send them because youre so damn funny — Kanav Rajput Copy Share Image
When you come right down to it, the secret to having it all is loving it all. — Joyce Brothers Copy Share Image
“I might be 30 years old, but a girl never outgrows the need for her mother.” — Debbie Macomber Copy Share Image
“Ever notice how those who start a conversation with the phrase, "Needless to say", always seem to have a lot to say?” — Mark W Boyer Copy Share Image
“Most people are widely read. I'm thinly read. I've read *** all, and I'm very proud of it.” — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
I like my psychiatrist she's kind, caring and compassionate but what woman wouldn't be for over a 100 dollars an hour? — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
I was good in comedy so I started getting such roles but as an actor you don't like to do same type… — Satish Kaushik Copy Share Image
“You won't want to leave when you've tasted Mom's fried chicken," Matt said with a touching faith in the power of grease.” — Jane Davitt Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Colin Firth has to admit that he's not a human being but a robot designed by women as the perfect… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
As I began to perform - songs, poems, sketches or conjuring tricks - I began to learn what children run with and… — Michael Rosen Copy Share Image
Ryan Stout, a straight-arrow-looking kind of guy, shocks the crowd into laughter with his inventive interplay between innocence and a jarringly twisted… — Ben Fong-Torres Copy Share Image
Look at the Metropolitan Community Church today, the gay church, almost accepted into the World Council of Churches. Almost, the vote was… — Jerry Falwell Copy Share Image
“Shergahn and friend lay like poleaxed steers, and the Daranfelian's greasy hair was thick with potatoes, carrots, gravy, and chunks of beef.… — David Weber Copy Share Image
Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
“Idiots,” I’d say, crunching another cracker. “Who tafes vaca to the friggin’ hungle?” And now here I am. Some people say life… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“That's the unforgivable sin, you know." "What is?" "Refusing to forgive someone." "Refusing to forgive someone is the unforgivable sin?" I asked… — Phyllis Reynolds Naylor Copy Share Image
There doesn't seem to be a relationship between budget and comedy. In fact, it might be inverse. — Kyle Gass Copy Share Image
You have a certain quality that is nearly irresistible. I think it's called Spank Appeal. — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
When the Wise man points at the moon... the idiot looks at the finger... — Avinash Wandre Copy Share Image
“Fuck Mickey Mouse. Fuck Mickey Mouse in the ass with a big rubber dick.” — Geroge Carlin Copy Share Image
I love and enjoy vocal performance, but I also have a huge passion for comedy and improv. — Colleen Ballinger Copy Share Image
“A good test of the appropriateness of a joke is whether the humor controls us or we control it.” — J Oswald Sanders Copy Share Image
I enjoy doing both comedy and drama, as long as I'm not doing something continuously. — Kirti Kulhari Copy Share Image
Part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“Isn't that funny, that deity is passe but the attributes and implications of deity linger--” — Gregory Maguire Copy Share Image
“What a pair they were - a Mistborn who felt guilty wasting coins to jump and a nobleman who thought balls were… — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
A good-humored wife who appreciates most, if not all, of my humor - her price is far above rubies, as the book… — Andrew Hudgins Copy Share Image
“When I came out of anesthesia, I wanted two things: my husband and my dog. They wouldn't let the dog in the… — Sandy Nathan Copy Share Image
Plus, humor ws a good way to hide the pain. And if that didn't work, there was always Plan B. Run aaway.… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
Comedy is ridiculously hard. And if the rhythm is not right, if the music or the line is not right, it's not… — Julianne Moore Copy Share Image
“What on earth do they hope to achieve by that, demonstrations never achieve anything, if they did, we wouldn't allow them.” — José Saramago Copy Share Image
In my opinion, I think sarcasm and humor in a song, without turning it into a novelty song, is really charming. — Alanis Morissette Copy Share Image
“There must be a mistake," I said. He adjusted his bag on his shoulder. "That's a creative name. What do you shorten… — Chelsea M. Cameron Copy Share Image
“If you are reading this then you have wasted another day of your life day dreaming, rather than planning the life God… — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
“You arrogant, selfish, egotistical, medieval, despotic, swollen-headed, dumb, idiot penis owner!” — Christine Warren Copy Share Image
“There's something infinitely fascinating or fatal about a woman behind the wheel.” — Ahmed Mostafa Copy Share Image
Why are there no Knock Knock jokes about America? Because Freedom rings. . . — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Nothing is easier to write than scenery; nothing more difficult and unnecessary to read.” — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
The binders, the charts, the grids may seem formidable, but the meetings themselves are built around informality, trust, emotion and humor. — Jack Welch Copy Share Image
