Humor Quotes · Page 399

“Ix-nay!" I hissed at him. "Ix-nay!" I didn't know why I resorted to Pig Latin right then. It just seemed like the…

— T.J. Klune

Between us and the writers, it was comedy hour the whole time. We could hardly get through it.

— Buddy Rice

Watching a YouTube video and not having an advertisement pop up feels like winning the lottery.

— Anonymous

Film Twitter is a funny place. I often dip my toe into it. I'm entertained and horrified in equal measures.

— Harris Dickinson

“Sometimes, if you close your eyes and keep still, you can be invisible. Ostriches know this." - Constantine”

— Jamie Delano

And who are the greater criminals-those who sell the instruments of death, or those who buy them and use them?

— Robert E. Sherwood

“Hope had gone so white, it was a wonder someone didn't accuse her of being a Strigoi.”

— Richelle Mead

Finding a song name: Type all the words you know in Google and hope for the best.

— Anonymous

“What does it mean a 'greener life'? Well, let's be brutal. It doesn't meaning meditating in a centrally heated room on a…

— Clarissa Dickson Wright Johnny Scott

I pray you indulge me for a space, for I am going to set out on a speech which may have some…

— David Mamet

“Flatterers should be mistrusted, especially when they praise the dead. To seek a place in society is self-serving, but to seek one…

— Bauvard

As a kid, I thought of myself as a funny person who secretly wanted to be serious, but now I think maybe…

— Noah Baumbach

“Do you know why I love mathematics?" "Because it blew your mind for free when you couldn't get drugs?" Eccles snorted in…

— Brendan Halpin

“We began to butterfly kiss, which is when you touch your eyelashes to the other person's skin. I was going to respect…

— Harvard Lampoon

“What if I shave?" he said. "I look much better when I'm shaved. My cousin will vouch for that—do I not look…

— Anne Gracie

I have a "Do Not Disturb" sign on my hotel door. It's time to go to "Don't Disturb". It's been "Do Not"…

— Mitch Hedberg

Comedy is far more difficult, as it involves improvisation and impromptu acting, and as an actor, that came as a welcome break…

— Divyanka Tripathi

I gave him a compliment! All right, I told him he probably would've made, like, a really expensive slave in the, like,…

— Sarah Silverman

“How anyone can be that dumb and still be able to eat with a fork is beyond me.”

— KD McCrite

“The only thing wrong with Southern Baptists was they didn't hold them underwater long enough.”

— Kinky Friedman

“Christian is staring at us. He’s an only child and could never understand the delicate joys of sibling abuse.”

— Cynthia Hand

“There is nothing so capital as a cup of tea for settling the Disheveled Nerves of Fair Ladies.”

— Joan Bassington-French

Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure.

— Katt Williams

You know what make me laugh? Good, clean, honest humor. Not-trying-to-be-funny humor.

— Redman

“I always think the best thing about high school is that it's so many years ago.”

— Kaye Morgan

Stanley Kubrick went with his gut feeling: he directed 'Dr. Strangelove' as a black comedy. The film is routinely described as a…

— Tim Cahill

Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said "Anybody got an aspirin? I think I've got a cold."

— Denis Leary

Although there's an inherent light-heartedness to 'Sherlock,' I slightly err towards not doing the comedy.

— Martin Freeman

“Don't listen to writers. They're messed up - that's why they're writers!”

— Chocolate Waters

“I had a dream about you last night.. You thought you were a candy vampire, you were standing in the sun screaming…

— Nicole McKay

“Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything ”

— Anonymous

“Always fuck with people's expectations, sunshine. It's good for their circulation.”

— Tana French

“Accepting the rule that others want us to play is fine, as long as we’re fine with it.”

— Art Hochberg

'Irumbu Kottai...' is an action comedy. Even the villain, after beating up people, will keep laughing.

— Raghava Lawrence

I think there's nothing better than a comedy that also is not afraid to have those heartfelt moments.

— Ben Falcone

“There are many things evil people can take from you. However, they can never steal your ability to laugh and laugh loud.”

— Shannon L. Alder

I hope and assume that every good comedy writer, no matter the age, has a moment where they discover how great Cheers…

— Amy Poehler

I worked out that you could have an interplay of comedy and theatre and achieve more than the sum of its parts.

— Nick Mohammed

I really geek out with horror and like to delve into the subgenres, whether it's comedy or slasher or sci-fi.

— Lydia Hearst

A man wears the pants in a relationship but the woman tells the man which pair to put on.

— Anonymous