“I opened my mouth to respond, then decided to do that thing where you think before you speak.” — Jessi Kirby Copy Share Image
“She wondered what he looked like with his hat off and wondered again if he knew he was funny.” — Elmore Leonard Copy Share Image
J.K. Rowling Cinderella? Snow White? What's that? An illness? J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows — JK Rowling Copy Share Image
I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk the Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said 'Dad,… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Have you ever wondered if those dollar bills in your wallet might have once been in a strippers butt? You're wondering now... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“He knew she loved him in that moment. Gabe never wanted to be part of the holy fight, but now he was,… — Wendy Owens Copy Share Image
“Really, for all the poetry in the world on the subject, when you get right down to it, it's mostly just boom!… — Martin Leicht Copy Share Image
I'm a firm believer in the saying that goes, 'If you want to make god laugh, tell him your plans,' kind of… — Jacob Collier Copy Share Image
The only way I could get comfortable around people was to make them laugh. I was an obedient girl, and humor was… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
My friends on Twitter didn't abandon their beliefs or their principles - only their scorn. They channeled their infinitely justifiable offense and… — Megan Phelps-Roper Copy Share Image
“Pretty damned cocky of you to assume I'd say yes." His gaze was steady, but I could see the humor lurking in… — Liliana Hart Copy Share Image
To the winner, there is 100-percent elation, 100-percent fun, 100-percent laughter; and yet the only thing left to the loser is resolution… — Vince Lombardi Copy Share Image
“First, you must light a middling fire under the cauldron.” “What’s a middling fire?” “Medium.” I searched the pot. “Where’s the ignition… — Lowvee Cole Copy Share Image
“At the Temple of the Seven-Handed Sek a hasty convocation of priests and ritual heart-transplant artisans agreed that the hundred-span-high statue of… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
With humor you have so many options with topics and length, I mean I can write humor essays in books now and… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“My number one fear is heights. Well, not so much the heights but the falling from heights. Actually the falling isn’t that… — John Zakour Copy Share Image
I have never understood why it should be considered derogatory to the Creator to suppose that he has a sense of humour. — William Ralph Inge Copy Share Image
Comedy is something that we can all share, no matter what language we speak or our background, it has the power to… — Paul Goodman Copy Share Image
I have such a girl-crush on Reese Witherspoon. I would love to do a comedy with her. — Jenna Dewan Copy Share Image
“Doubts, sure I have them, but they won't feed you or put a roof over your head.” — Hank Eng Copy Share Image
“Then she remarked that marriage was a serious matter. To which I answered: "No.” — Albert Camus Copy Share Image
“Never approach a crying woman entering a sports bar carrying a harpoon gun.” — George Carlin Copy Share Image
What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math. — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Umlaut snaps around and we cut to a blond apparition in her early twenties, clearly descended from Olympus by way of Hugh… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Whenever I'm near you,I undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“It was funny if you looked at it right quick, but it got pitiful if you thought about it awhile.” — Zora Neale Hurston Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night... you were crying over spilt ink screaming "the words, the what could have been… — Nicole McKay Copy Share Image
I think of comedy as my man: it's the one thing I can always rely on that will keep me safe, keep… — Tiffany Haddish Copy Share Image
Well yes I think laughter is joyous, laughter is crucial. I think thats why I love comedy and thats why Im in… — Mike Wozniak Copy Share Image
“He was afraid to pick up the baby. If he touched it, it might bond with him or something. Or he might… — Judith Arnold Copy Share Image
“I've seen a baby born. And, ahem, I know what made it. But I'm not telling, you'd never believe me.” — N.D. Wilson Copy Share Image
Comedy is not something that had necessarily jumped out as something I'd immediately go for. — Ed Speleers Copy Share Image
The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy? — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
“He gave a wry smile. With all this vigilant vigils on virginity, you would think the country would have controlled its population… — Mallika Nawal Copy Share Image
“Famous ancient proverb say: Learn to laugh at your own misfortunes, everyone else is!” — Ancient Copy Share Image
I don't think comedy comes from hotbeds of doing shtick. I think it usually comes from some kind of childhood humiliation or… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
You don't drink to drown your sorrows, you drink to give them mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. — John Alejandro King Copy Share Image
“I have three sets of humor. One I keep in a bag of salt, because it’s the dry one. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
Suddenly, if I were to be seen in a sex comedy, it wouldn't be acceptable to my fans. — Alok Nath Copy Share Image
