If these two are tired of having sex with each other, what hope is there for the rest of us? — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
“Let's not have forced gaiety this Christmas, said Nora, like it was a dish. We'll have a tiny bit of it, I… — Miriam Toews Copy Share Image
Because the rhymes I say, sharp as a nail. Witty as can be and not for sale. Always funky fresh, could NEVER… — Run DMC Copy Share Image
“Theodore- Hello, Grandmother. You're looking more beautiful than ever. His grandma- You did have to inherit your looks from someone.” — Jen Turano Copy Share Image
“You're never "keeping it real" with your lack of punctuation and proofreading, you're keeping it unintelligible.” — Austin Kleon Copy Share Image
My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't… — Norman Wisdom Copy Share Image
“For your penance, say two Hail Marys, three our Fathers, and," he added, with a chuckle, "say a special prayer for the… — Doris Kearns Goodwin Copy Share Image
“Good humor may be said to be one of the very best articles of dress one can wear in society.” — William Makepeace Thackeray Copy Share Image
We've all seen comedians look like they're reaching just a little bit too much for the laugh. This is counterproductive. The conceit… — Romesh Ranganathan Copy Share Image
The best comedy to me - and again, I grew up with comedy since I was a baby, so I've seen it… — Pauly Shore Copy Share Image
“She ran into the bathroom and powdered her face and the front of her dress, drew a surrealistic version of a mouth… — John Kennedy Toole Copy Share Image
If people are attracted to me, I like to think it's because I'm an interesting person, fairly smart, well-rounded, with a good… — Rob Lowe Copy Share Image
My life consists of laughter, love & happiness if you can't bring these 3 things to my table your not welcome because… — Natasha Buckmaster Copy Share Image
“ From CATS ARE KIND "A man said to the universe, 'Sir, I exist!' 'Excellent,' replied the universe, 'I've been looking for… — Henry N. Beard Copy Share Image
If anything, being a female has afforded me opportunities on YouTube that I necessarily didn't have in doing traditional comedy and auditioning… — Grace Helbig Copy Share Image
“So. You think you ended things too late with Brooke. You mean . . . because you’re totally crazy about her?” When… — Julie James Copy Share Image
It's like geographical humor. You just don't get it unless you were there. — Melina Marchetta Copy Share Image
If 'Sajjan Singh Rangroot' showed seriousness through the First World War, 'Carry On Jatta 2' had a great dose of comedy. — Varun Sharma Copy Share Image
“What'd you think would happen when you died? That the prophecy would just be over and we'd all be like, oops, guess… — H.M. Ward Copy Share Image
Does anyone else think mirrors look unbelievably handsome or is it just me? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Some people are so positive, that when they slip in dog poop, they pirouette” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Men are linear creatures, led by their lusts. You only have to give them an excuse to act on what they already… — Nancy Gideon Copy Share Image
I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
“You can make heaven out of hell, or hell out of heaven. The choice is yours.” — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
“It’s a funny old world, isn’t it? Just when you think you know someone, just when you think you know yourself…” — Harlem Dae Copy Share Image
I've done so many dramas in my life, and people don't even know I came from comedy. — Kim Basinger Copy Share Image
“I was running on a treadmill earlier today and my moobs sagged so low that I tripped.” — M.S. Knight Copy Share Image
I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple!… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play bridge. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
“His skin is so hard and rough, it’s like shaking a piece of tree bark.” — Sophie Kinsella Copy Share Image
If you're a girl who raises her voice a lot, I assume your mom didn't hug you enough when you were a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I don’t trust people with empty-stomach breath to tell me what taste is.” — Tracie Egan Copy Share Image
Caregivers need humor not only for the healing aspect but also to lift our spirits and inspire us to keep doing what… — Jim Breuer Copy Share Image
I'm a pretty funny guy, and I would love to do a comedy with a bunch of funny guys - movie-star guys,… — LeBron James Copy Share Image
As I see it, there's mainstream comedy - and then there's me, out in the badlands. — Rik Mayall Copy Share Image
Not being funny doesn't make you a bad person. Not having a sense of humor does. — David Rakoff Copy Share Image
There's a sense of humor within the Australian culture that prevails when one is in a rather difficult situation. — Guy Pearce Copy Share Image
“I wondered what he would have thought if he'd known that I'd gleaned most of my information from reading historical romance novels.” — Nicole Luiken Copy Share Image
Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don't think so...retired mermaids. — Milton Jones Copy Share Image
The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland,… — Paul Reiser Copy Share Image
