Kumail Nanjiani

Just because you saw a vampire doesn't mean that a snowman or a Loch Ness Monster also exists.

— Kumail Nanjiani

One of my favorite comedies is 'Shaun of the Dead.'

— Kumail Nanjiani

If you do a sketch, that's a very short narrative. Stand-up, it's bit-to-bit, minute-long narratives.

— Kumail Nanjiani

Living in Pakistan, you didn't have a sense of how huge and varied America was, geographically.

— Kumail Nanjiani

Being a fish out of water is tough, but that's how you evolve.

— Kumail Nanjiani

I think being funny had something to do with feeling like an outsider, not feeling cool - insecurity.

— Kumail Nanjiani

You can go slow. Allow your dreams and goals to change, but live an intentional life.

— Kumail Nanjiani

I just hope that there's a market for somebody who looks like me as the lead of a rom-com, you know?

— Kumail Nanjiani

A lot of times, it seems like social media has devolved into people just yelling at each other and not really conversing.

— Kumail Nanjiani

Im from a family of doctors, and I think they really wanted me to be a doctor. I even sort of assumed…

— Kumail Nanjiani

My favorite writer on 'The X-Files' is this guy Darin Morgan. He wrote my favorite episode and the top five favorite episodes…

— Kumail Nanjiani

I thought of America as this crazy, happy, exciting place where everybody's rich and there's stuff everywhere. Compared to Pakistan, it's not…

— Kumail Nanjiani

Studio execs were like, ''Lord of the Rings!' People want to see sword-and-dragon-type things!' No, people just want to see great stories.…

— Kumail Nanjiani

I grew up watching 'Ghostbusters' and 'Knight Rider' and Hot Wheels commercials. When I got to college, having never set foot in…

— Kumail Nanjiani

It's not like I listened to music and then stopped. I still don't have a real appreciation for music because I didn't…

— Kumail Nanjiani

When I started working on 'Michael And Michael,' it was my life for three to four months, and then suddenly it's gone.

— Kumail Nanjiani

Philosophy is problem-solving. There's a philosophical problem, and then you try to solve it by approaching it from different angles and seeing…

— Kumail Nanjiani

I don't go, 'It is now time to change Americans' perception of Muslims. It's going to be a long day.' I think…

— Kumail Nanjiani

In popular culture, there isn't any other conception of Islam and Muslims other than what you see on the news... When you…

— Kumail Nanjiani

Most people don't really do too many things because they're afraid they'll fail. There are people failing all the time, all around…

— Kumail Nanjiani

You just don't see Muslims being matter-of-fact Muslim. They're always defined by their Muslim-ness. We're either terrorists, or we're fighting terrorists. I…

— Kumail Nanjiani

When I was studying comedy in Chicago, it wasn't long after 9/11. There were a lot Middle Eastern comedians who were doing…

— Kumail Nanjiani

A lot of people say video games can be stifling. Older people say, 'We had to go outside, and we had to…

— Kumail Nanjiani

I don't want to generalize, but the target audience for a lot of the YouTube people is fairly young - under the…

— Kumail Nanjiani

Most of my exposure to American pop culture was through this weird prism of 'Mad' magazine.

— Kumail Nanjiani

I'm still trying to figure out how to have an adult relationship with my parents.

— Kumail Nanjiani

It wasn't until I moved to New York that I decided to make a conscious effort to be myself.

— Kumail Nanjiani

Nobody really knows what they're doing. Some are just better at pretending like they do.

— Kumail Nanjiani

Stand-up is successful if they laugh. It's unsuccessful if they don't laugh.

— Kumail Nanjiani

I'm a massive rom-com head! Like, every rom-com in the '90s and early 2000s, I've watched.

— Kumail Nanjiani

My parents don't really understand my career. They don't really bring it up that much.

— Kumail Nanjiani

On stage I just have to be myself. In acting you have to be so many other people.

— Kumail Nanjiani

I stay home. It's the best place to be alone. There is hardly any walk-through traffic.

— Kumail Nanjiani

The plan was always to come to America, because Pakistan's a scary place. They don't have religious freedom. It's very poor, and…

— Kumail Nanjiani

There was one week where I got mistaken for Hasan Minhaj, who is on 'The Daily Show;' Kunal Nayyar, who's on 'Big…

— Kumail Nanjiani

My parents aren't the demographic for a lot of things I do. If I did a stand-up show, and I saw 62-year-old…

— Kumail Nanjiani

The worst job I ever had was an office job that I had for six years, and that's nothing against the people…

— Kumail Nanjiani

I started doing standup because of Hugh Grant's best-man speech in 'Four Weddings,' which is basically a standup routine.

— Kumail Nanjiani

I know what is funny coming out of my mouth and what is not funny coming out of my mouth. You have…

— Kumail Nanjiani

It happens to people. People ruin things they love! I'm sure the guy who played Jar Jar Binks loved 'Star Wars.'

— Kumail Nanjiani