Humor Quotes · Page 376

“Then I turned, and lifted up mine eyes, and looked, and beheld a flying roll.”

— Zechariah 5:1

I'd love to do a comedy - something where a character has to use humor to navigate the absurdities of life.

— Debra Granik

I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.

— Rodney Dangerfield

The last thing I want to do is use my comedy as a partisan tool or as a method for preaching.

— Armando Iannucci

How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ...no eight!

— Bill Bailey

You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living.

— Jim Norton

“Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down”

— Josh Stern

I think if you come from a history of persecution you have to develop a sense of humour.

— Sacha Baron Cohen

“Indeed, she seemed to have a special role as a wise woman, a woman whose robust common sense and humor had been…

— Oliver Sacks

“My dad mumbled something unintelligible. "Woo!" Emmett suddenly boomed in his deep bass. "Go Gators!" Jacob and Charlie jumped. The rest of…

— Stephenie Meyer

British people have a really sophisticated sense of humour, because we're exposed to much more than Europeans and Americans, not least in…

— Frankie Boyle

“Along with the standard computer warranty agreement which said that if the machine 1) didn't work, 2) didn't do what the expensive…

— Neil Gaiman

“Father Pierre, why did you stay on in this colonial Campari-land, where the clink of glasses mingles with the murmur of a…

— Monty Python's Flying Circus

I'm doing stand-up comedy. I'm working on a one-woman show about how I don't like my baby. There is a period of…

— Mary Lynn Rajskub

I would say just start writing. You've got to write every day. Copy someone that you like if you think that perhaps…

— Elmore Leonard

“The white man comes, pale as the dawn, with a load of thought, with a slumbering intelligence as a fire raked up,…

— Henry David Thoreau

I think that sense of humor is important in marriage. A sense of humor gets people through marriage.

— Kyle Chandler

“Women never bought Freud's idea of penis envy: who would want a shotgun when you can have an automatic?”

— Natalie Angier

“It's good to plan, but don't let the planning take the place of doing.”

— Karen McQuestion

What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.

— Rodney Dangerfield

'Tis a good thing to laugh at any rate; and if a straw can tickle a man, it is an instrument of…

— John Dryden

I think that you learn not to have any hopes that are too big when you're in comedy. You're just keeping your…

— Sarah Sherman

“That shower thing was hilarious," he said when I finished. "It was irresponsible! Why can't anyone see that?" "But that bitch had…

— Richelle Mead

“I take humor very seriously. I also take it three times a day, with meals.”

— Jarod Kintz

I think if you have someone without a sense of humor, you're less likely to be together.

— Ed Sheeran

If you get too well-known in comedy, I do believe it blocks people from taking you in drama.

— Eddie Izzard

Look, I don't have the millions of dollars that Exxon has. But I've got comedy. I've got satire. I've got stars.

— Laurie David

I knew it might put him in an awkward position that we had a discussion before finality has finally happened in this…

— George W. Bush

“The minute you stop caring about your business, is the same minute your business stops caring about you.”

— Steven Ivy - Attorney Entrepreneur

Well, darkness with humor... I'm not an extremely suicidal or sad person.

— Peter Steele

“When you smell a flower, where is the smell before you smell the flower? Think about that one.”

— Art Hochberg

Guys usually like my sense of humor, and I am pretty down to earth. And I'm a driven person.

— Kreayshawn

Between us and the writers, it was comedy hour the whole time. We could hardly get through it.

— Buddy Rice

“Ix-nay!" I hissed at him. "Ix-nay!" I didn't know why I resorted to Pig Latin right then. It just seemed like the…

— T.J. Klune

I love football fans. I love the humour, the passion and their perseverance.

— Simon Jordan

Watching a YouTube video and not having an advertisement pop up feels like winning the lottery.

— Anonymous

“Sometimes, if you close your eyes and keep still, you can be invisible. Ostriches know this." - Constantine”

— Jamie Delano

Film Twitter is a funny place. I often dip my toe into it. I'm entertained and horrified in equal measures.

— Harris Dickinson

“How anyone can be that dumb and still be able to eat with a fork is beyond me.”

— KD McCrite

Comedy is far more difficult, as it involves improvisation and impromptu acting, and as an actor, that came as a welcome break…

— Divyanka Tripathi