The things I talk about in my comedy are my experiences. I just do what I know. — Bill Bellamy Copy Share Image
I started being a comedy fan when I was, I'm going to guess, like 5 or 6 years old. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
“If the self-help books worked, it would be a shrinking industry not a growing one.” — Steve Maraboli Copy Share Image
“What? Why are you making the glee nose? The death of my world is funny? The final vengeance of my people? I… — Jackson Lanzing Copy Share Image
Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Once anyone who has a sense of humor can do what they want, they want to do funny bits as much as… — Gavin McInnes Copy Share Image
“I don't understand it. Why me?" "Is there ever an answer to that question when men are involved?" -Candace and Fallon, Chapter 12” — Roz Lee Copy Share Image
When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“She shocks the hell out of me when she asks, "Did you get engaged, Jade? She looks at me seriously. It's really… — Jillian Dodd Copy Share Image
I think shows that are completely dramatic are a lie. People use humor to cope. That is how we deal with things.… — Jenji Kohan Copy Share Image
“I must have wanton Poets, pleasant wits, Musitians, that with touching of a string May draw the pliant king which way I… — Christopher Marlowe Copy Share Image
“I'm sorry, but -I'm sorry !' I yelped and skipped backward as Gorg advanced on me. 'You were given bad information. Probably… — Adam Rex Copy Share Image
“I am asking Scribners to insert as a subtitle in everything after the eighth printing THE SUN ALSO RISES (LIKE YOUR COCK… — Ernest Hemingway Copy Share Image
“The CIA currently has in custody two FBI agents and a Boston police detective who is demanding they pay for the damage… — Abigail Roux Copy Share Image
“I recall the story of the philosopher and the theologian... The two were engaged in disputation and the theologian used the old… — Julian Huxley Copy Share Image
It's important to remember that life is a joke, and that outlook grants a lot of perspective, but I don't think comedy… — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
We are best friends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up, after I finish laughing. — Cherrymae Esdrelon Copy Share Image
I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
The good-humor of a man elated with success often displays itself towards enemies. — Thomas B. Macaulay Copy Share Image
I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I feel that a lot of British comedy is often too bombastic, too obvious, dressing up and shouting and pulling funny faces. — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
Like all young men I set out to be a genius, but mercifully laughter intervened. — Lawrence Durrell Copy Share Image
Gene Richards swings, the ball bounces foul and hits him in the head. No harm done. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
“We’re here to take over the world-- that’s why we’re starting here in Hamilton, Indiana-- the nerve center of the entire planet.” — Tom Upton Copy Share Image
“All I want is for my kids to have a good sense of humour. They don't have to be funny, just need… — Ade Bozzay Copy Share Image
I like subversive humor, freckles, women's knees and long hair, the laughter of playing children, and a girl running down the street. — Rene Magritte Copy Share Image
“My father always said that government is like watching another man piss in your boot. Someone feels better but it certainly isn't… — Orson Scott Card Copy Share Image
Salman has a great sense of humour. His improvisation is very good. His show '10 Ka Dum' on Sony TV is hilarious.… — Arshad Warsi Copy Share Image
I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
As a joke, I would love to stand in line at ATM machines, and when people put in their PIN, I yell… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
We were a very funny family. Humour was the tool with which my brother and I tried to get attention. We were… — Meg Cabot Copy Share Image
I also have picked a secretary for Housing and Human Development. Mel Martinez from the state of Florida. — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“I'd love to do comedy. And I think I have a pretty good sense of comic thing, so I'd really like to… — Emily Perkins Copy Share Image
I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The Jacksons must trot out at least one family member who doesn't make us all ask, "What went on in… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Russell looked as though he were in very dire need of a trip to the bathroom.” — Christopher Andrews Copy Share Image
Farrah's dressing room was next to mine. There was a little hole in the wall. I let her look. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
“The woman must look like the weathered side of a rotted fence post if she had to get a man this way.” — Lindsey Brookes Copy Share Image
One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I… — Adam Ferrara Copy Share Image
I often use humor as a tool in my writing, and sometimes that works and sometimes it sits alone just as a… — Hannes Holm Copy Share Image
