“All right, when you guys start talking about waxing unmentionable places, that's my cue to get the hell out of here.” — J. Lynn Copy Share Image
“When a man is on the road to power he buys everyone a drink. Once elected he tries to close the saloons.” — Robert Lautner Copy Share Image
“Like plumbing, medicine is a profession where you learn early on not to put your fingers in your mouth.” — Diana Gabaldon Copy Share Image
“One of the best reasons for eating alone is the assurance that you will enjoy the company.” — Karen E. Quinones Miller Copy Share Image
“I opened my mouth to tell him he was full of shit, to tell him I knew he'd thrown me under the… — Diana Rowland Copy Share Image
Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
“Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an… — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night... you sat in a cardboard box and said you were a tree.” — Nicole McKay Copy Share Image
Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is the most afraid of getting ruffied? It's like relax. YOU can take the… — Natasha Leggero Copy Share Image
People talk, 'Oh your father's a misogynist, look what he said about women,' like, on 'Howard Stern.' When he gets with Howard… — Donald Trump, Jr Copy Share Image
“The air among the houses was of so strong a piscatory flavour that one might have supposed sick fish went up to… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“They've been married for a little over a year, and they've withstood a lot together, with no signs of parting. They channel… — Becca Ritchie & Kristia Ritchie Copy Share Image
“It would be easier if they named jeans for celebrities so you'd know exactly what you were getting without even having to… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share Image
I hate sandwiches at New York delis. Too much meat on the sandwich. It's like a cow with a cracker on either… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I chose to stylize 'Among Friends' and add a dark comedic element because I didn't want to get pigeonholed as a genre… — Danielle Harris Copy Share Image
“Hoh, Boy!" Freddy snorted, slapping his palm to his forehead. "I hope you never donate your brain to science. It would set… — Bertrand R. Brinley Copy Share Image
“Dost fail ho jaye toh dukh hota hai … Lekin dost first aa jaye toh zyada dukh hota hai” — 3 Idiots- Aamir Khan Copy Share Image
“I heard his library burned down and both books were destroyed -- and one of them hadn't even been colored in yet.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Environmental history is, among other things, a lengthy account of human beings over and over imagining their way into a serious pickle.” — Elliott West Copy Share Image
I never took the work less than serious, my work ethic is ingrained in me. But I've always had a sense of… — George Hamilton Copy Share Image
I've played comedy before but not that much. I mostly do get drawn to darker material. — Natasha Richardson Copy Share Image
With every film, I try and give the audiences a little more than the previous film in terms of comedy, action, drama… — Salman Khan Copy Share Image
“Embarrassing facts, those would really help our children remember their classroom lessons better.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive...take her to the gas station. — Seth Rogen Copy Share Image
Comedy's so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn't get it, doesn't find it funny, then fine. — Johnny Vegas Copy Share Image
If you love someone enough you can still hear their laughter when their gone — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Here they go cruising for a fortnight up in parts where everyone is dead of radiation, and all that they can catch… — Nevil Shute Copy Share Image
“She is so tiresome. ‘Am I a vampire, am I a wolf, am I a vampire, am I a wolf, I cannot… — Melika Dannese Lux Copy Share Image
I believe in the importance of sincerity and emotion and honesty in TV, even when it's goofy comedy. — Michael Schur Copy Share Image
Sanguillen is totally unpredictable to pitch to because he's so unpredictable. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
What I really want to do is comedy. I would love to do some guest star spots on some single-camera comedies. — Katie Featherston Copy Share Image
A small man can cast a large shadow, especially when a fat man is standing behind him. — MJ McGuire Copy Share Image
Always be nice to people to their face. Then when they turn around, berate the back of their head. — Benson Bruno Copy Share Image
“Throwing a sub at the Apollyon probably wasn't something that should be done in public. But I couldn't help it; I laughed.” — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
“Death may be by choclate, but I' ve discovered something greater: Death by luggage.” — Isabel Copy Share Image
“Too many OB/GYN’s aren’t able to practice their love with women all across the country.” — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
If some beggar steals a bridle he'll be hung by a man who's stolen a horse. — Peire Cardenal Copy Share Image
“If you own a bar on your own, you're a player; if you own it with your beloved twin sister, you're–" "Irish.” — Gillian Flynn Copy Share Image
Analysing comedy is like dissecting a frog. Nobody laughs and the frog dies. — Barry Cryer Copy Share Image
I've come to realize that life is not a musical comedy, it's a Greek tragedy. — Billy Joel Copy Share Image
