For anybody that's looking at getting into comedy as stand-up or otherwise, the best advice to give is: Be original. Always. — Deon Cole Copy Share Image
Burlesque is beautiful: It's art, it's fun, it's done with a lot of comedy - an awful lot of big wink-wink and… — Imelda May Copy Share Image
“Only if you're a numbskull." "Numbskull yourself! Want me to numb your skull with this shovel?” — John Flanagan Copy Share Image
“When it comes to emotions, women know how to paint with the full set of oils, while men are busy doodling with… — Hank Moody Copy Share Image
Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A lot of the time, a comedy script is just dialogue, and that's the main thing you have to worry about. — Paul Rust Copy Share Image
Now, the magic of British parks at night, as Bill Oddie presents.. Gaywatch. — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
“So basically you're just a fucking train wreck?" she joked. "I prefer conflicted," I corrected.” — Chasta Schneider Copy Share Image
“A large praying mantis was performing ablutions on the springy stem of the kid's cowlick. The gunslinger snorted laughter-the first in gods… — Stephen King Copy Share Image
“So, what if you are not naturally funny? Don’t get discouraged. Do your research, gather ideas, and find your fun. Seek ways… — Susan C. Young Copy Share Image
“It’s just...” She scrubbed a hand across her face. “I keep looking for someone to share life with, someone patient. Not afraid… — Shayla Black Copy Share Image
“In closing, I hope everything helps show that I wouldn’t be a fade-out or a person who turns to think to drink… — Kaye Gibbons Copy Share Image
I think everyone's different but in comedy, I try to do my scene to make the director and the other actors laugh.… — Ken Jeong Copy Share Image
I suppose some studio executive would say it's death for a comedy if people aren't all laughing in the same places, but… — Noah Baumbach Copy Share Image
They have what you call a black night where they have black people come in for just one night only to watch… — Mike Epps Copy Share Image
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“90% of life is showing up. I'm staying home to wait for the other 10%.” — Brian Spellman Copy Share Image
“She'd been trained as a child no to trust anyone, but he'd just saved her life, and she was freezing. He could… — Krystal Shannan Copy Share Image
I always loved comedy, but it never seemed like something that I could do professionally. — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective. — Dana Gould Copy Share Image
Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy. — Joel McHale Copy Share Image
“Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because he had delusions of Papal grandeur” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
Surprise is the essence of humor, and nothing is more surprising than truth. — Bill Watterson Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night… it was raining and you were fishing for fire to set a sandcastle a… — Nicole McKay Copy Share Image
I'm just going to keep doing comedy because I don't know what else to do. I have no other applicable skills. — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
“Oh, so close!" she said, her smile getting wider. "But close only counts in horseshoes and dragon fire.” — James Riley Copy Share Image
Growing up, I loved comedy even before I knew that you could be a stand-up comedian. — Katherine Ryan Copy Share Image
I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
So you're a big fan of Marilyn Monroe and you know all her quotes? Cool, how many of her movies did you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The problem with at-home IQ tests is that too many people wouldn't understand the results. Calling customer service is a bad sign. — Iimani David Copy Share Image
Laughter is the only currency I've really ever known. Ever since I was a boy. — Bob Mortimer Copy Share Image
“I was trying to have an insight, and all I could think of was that I'd backed myself into a corner, and… — John Welter Copy Share Image
My comedy does not come from a place of deep cynicism, and I tend to play characters who are naive in some… — Anna Faris Copy Share Image
“He kissed the corner of her lips before whispering by her ear, “And that was just my hand, love.” — Michelle M. Pillow Copy Share Image
If you purposefully look to shock people, it isn't funny. That's what 50 million dollar Hollywood comedies do ; try to be… — John Waters Copy Share Image
“Mum,” said Christopher. “It’s a demon. I don’t think a poker will hurt it.” “It will where I’m going to put it,”… — John Connolly Copy Share Image
“College is a scam. Why go into debt to get no job when you could be unemployed for FREE?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
Humor has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius. — Thomas Carlyle Copy Share Image
I don't feel that I'm strictly Danish; I don't feel that my sense of humor is strictly Danish or my human sensibility… — Susanne Bier Copy Share Image
“Of a sane man there is only one safe definition. He is the man who can have tragedy in his heart and… — G.K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
