My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“The apple doesn't fall far from the tree…unless that tree's growing on top of a hill.” — John DePrey Copy Share Image
Ayo and I started performing together and have done comedy shows in some of the wettest, stinkiest basements of all time. — Rachel Sennott Copy Share Image
I have always thought of comedy as an important job and medium, and so I put pressure on myself to do the… — Miranda Hart Copy Share Image
Because I work in comedy, I can't kick back and watch sitcoms as a form of leisure anymore. — Esther Povitsky Copy Share Image
“The romantic is always intelligent, and I only meant to observe that although we have had foolish romantics, they don't count.” — Fyodor Dostoyevsky Copy Share Image
“Don’t make a big deal out of a small deal - and you know everything is s small deal. Nothing is a… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I said, 'Don't talk rot, Old Tom Travers." "I am not accustomed to talk rot," he said. "Then, for a beginner," I… — P.G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
“Kid Flash: Sorry. First time at the Hall. I'm a little overwhelmed. Robin: You're overwhelmed. Freeze was underwhelmed. Why isn't anyone just… — Young Justice Copy Share Image
“Thank you sir," she said. "I hope that your friend feels better soon." I shrugged. "The ways of the Lord" I said,… — Robert B. Parker Copy Share Image
Dad: Ashh' Youu Better Eat All Of Your Food Because Other Children All Around Thaa World Are Hungry And Would Want That… — Ashh Copy Share Image
I was in musical comedy. And I did very well, but the memorization killed me. I'm not good at memorizing, and it… — Patti Smith Copy Share Image
I have seen and heard comedians who had really funny 'stuff' but yet could not make the people laugh; then, again -… — Al Jolson Copy Share Image
“If you’re not gratified, you should be,” he told her as he tucked the letter back in the breast pocket of his… — Laura Lee Guhrke Copy Share Image
“It is one of the greatest Curses visited upon Mankind, he told me, that they shall fear where no Fear is: this… — Peter Ackroyd Copy Share Image
“When life gives you lemons, say cool, what else you got?” — Carmen in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Copy Share Image
Math jokes arent funny, nothing about math is funny, math is a sin(e). — Ramandeep Singh Copy Share Image
“Yes," said the skull. "Quit while you're a head, that's what I say.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
