“The catch about not looking a gift horse in the mouth is that it may be a Trojan horse.” — David Seller Copy Share Image
“His [Lord Peter's] long, amiable face looked as if it had generated spontaneously from his top hat, as white maggots breed from… — Dorothy L. Sayers Copy Share Image
I have to stop crying when I watch "The View". It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
I am one boob, you are the other boob and together? We are breast friends. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The Germans have a wonderful combination of pathos, energy, and humor. They are like Californians with an education. — Joan Juliet Buck Copy Share Image
“Oh my God! You little slut! You want to have a good date with him and want to have ten thousand of… — J. Sterling Copy Share Image
I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone. Rod Schmidt — Rod Schmidt Copy Share Image
It's always comedy first on 'Will and Grace.' There was never any other agenda. — Sean Hayes Copy Share Image
“This is the difference between Eldric and me. Had it been my job to transform the garden, I would have removed the… — Franny Billingsley Copy Share Image
“See, phrenology is this old Victorian science, which claimed you could determine the dominant traits of a man's personality by studying the… — Simon R. Green Copy Share Image
“I’m fine, Mom. Thanks for asking.” ... “Of course you’re fine.” She keeps walking. “You’re the devil’s bride and these are his… — Susan Ee Copy Share Image
“You see? I know where every single book used to be in the library.' She pointed to the shelf opposite. 'Over there… — Jasper Fforde Copy Share Image
“An athlete with a running nose and a running stomach is fortunate. If he combines these ‘runnings’ with a pair of running… — Vincent Okay Nwachukwu Copy Share Image
In the B-52s, each of us has our own wacky sensibility, which, when we come together, it's like the four-headed monster. And… — Kate Pierson Copy Share Image
“Jasmine believes in a prophecy that says she is destined to love a man named Josh Toby. Okay, fine. He could believe… — Diana Holquist Copy Share Image
I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'.… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image