“Right, cause I'm bleeding all over the place for shits and giggles.” — Julie Kagawa Copy Share Image
“We thought it was nice of you to let him have a go, because, in England, he wouldn't be trusted with a… — Russell Brand Copy Share Image
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any… — E. B. White Copy Share Image
Did I play my role well? If so, then applause, because the comedy is finished! — Augustus Copy Share Image
“I do beg your pardon. Let's literally throw up, but figuratively throw down.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“You have wondered perhaps, why all real accountants wear hats? They are today’s cowboys” — David Foster Wallace Copy Share Image
“I've always felt I deserved a wider audience, so thank you for reading this.” — Ivana Hruba Copy Share Image
The ability to make witty observations is commonly refered to as "cynism" by people who lack it. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
“People who are easily offended should live on an island to avoid offenses!” — Mary Hall-Rayford Copy Share Image
“I know one thing about the place I came from,' I say. 'We didn't eat dessert.' 'Then you came from a horrible… — Josin L. McQuein Copy Share Image
“Not entirely fair?" His voice became that of the inferno: a rushing, booming howl of icy evil that flew around the great… — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
“In a fair fight, the don's man would almost certainly paint the walls with Locke and Calo's blood, so it stood to… — Scott Lynch Copy Share Image
I love the privilege of looking back on my life every three years, turning it into a comedy show, and sharing it… — Jon Richardson Copy Share Image
I don't buy into the phrase 'comedy genius.' It's like football; you can have the talent, but 90 per cent is hard… — Josh Widdicombe Copy Share Image
“I walked in without knocking. The screen door banged to a close behind me announcing my presence. I followed my nose to… — Myra McEntire Copy Share Image
I think when you start comedy there are some real advantages to being single and in a low-paid job. You have nothing… — Josh Widdicombe Copy Share Image
The English have a special sense of humour. This I immediately experienced in the dressing room. As I walked with two plates… — Bastian Schweinsteiger Copy Share Image
I'm always doing comedy and will never hit up a 9-to-5 desk job. — Brandon T. Jackson Copy Share Image
I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“I'm a big boy. I can take it. You got into a fight. I'm also stupid.” — Joss Stirling Copy Share Image
