“Do shut your mouth--you'll catch flies sitting there like that.” — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
I've always been attracted to humor and funny people in general. It's a joy to make people laugh, but it's not as… — Jennifer Garner Copy Share Image
“I do not think, Prospero,' he said, 'that one should attribute a very high degree of reality to your house.” — John Bellairs Copy Share Image
“boys don't like smart girls they like push-around-in-a-cart kinda girls target-for-their-dart kinda girls meat-for-their-shark kinda girls” — Casey Renee Kiser Copy Share Image
Good humor and enthusiasm should be the sunshine ahead that will keep that shadow behind. — Charles W. Field Copy Share Image
“Having writers block sucks more than my actual writing. And my writing would be astonishing if I could write how I feel.” — Ally Spina Copy Share Image
Ron Guidry is not very big, maybe 140 pounds, but he has an arm like a lion. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
part of the humor of living on this backward planet is listening to the hominids rationalize their predations. — Robert Anton Wilson Copy Share Image
I lost my virginity under a bridge. I was having sex with this poor girl and I was trying my best, but… — Russell Howard Copy Share Image
“You seem to fit the part all right. Your technical record is first-class. Your disciplinary record stinks to high heaven.' He eyed… — Eric Frank Russell Copy Share Image
“I brug you two [gifts] . . . I gots the little here in my pockie.' He dug one hand deep into… — Lois Lowry Copy Share Image
“It may be, after all," said the Student Anselmus to himself, "that the superfine stomachic liqueur, which I took somewhat freely in… — E.T.A. Hoffmann Copy Share Image
“The proponents of Harlem jive talk ... do not hope that courses in the lingo will ever be offered at Harvard or… — Dan Burley Copy Share Image
“A young man of godlilke proportions* was standing in the doorway. * The better class of gods, anyway. Not the ones with… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
I always knew that love would come find me someday but never did I know that it would be you who was… — Valdovinos1015 Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy had an interesting effect on me in terms of how I started to think about constructing things, because I really… — Mark Leyner Copy Share Image
“Where do you get bitter cherries?" Deuce asked. "Disgruntled trees.” — Abigail Roux Copy Share Image
Good Humor is the best shield against the darts of satirical raillery — Charles Simmons Copy Share Image
![“I brug you two [gifts] . . . I gots the little here in my pockie.' He dug one hand deep into his pocket and pulled out a handful of nuts and a dead grasshopper. 'Nope. Be the other side.' (Matt)” quote by Lois Lowry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d91/lois-lowry-978_gifts_i-brug-you-two-gifts-i-gots-the-little-h_1689854.png)
