Humor Quotes · Page 180

“S-U-C-I-D-E Do You want to end everything with only six alphabets?”

— Laksh Kishore

“I like your opera - I think I will set it to music”

— Ludwig van Beethoven

“Hey, if you want something done right, don't ask me.”

— Si Robertson

“The verse is supposed to get you hard so the chorus can suck you off.”

— M. Thomas Gammarino

“Great idea," I said. "Call the police. Call the fucking police.”

— Ava Gardner

“Mi locura es sagrada, no la toquen.”

— Salvador Dalí

I never sort of thought of myself as a comedy writer, by nature.

— Lena Dunham

You're so old, you remember when it was Preparation-A

— Glenn Huskey

Of the things which nourish the imagination, humour is one of the most needful, and it is dangerous to limit or destroy…

— John Millington Synge

I can sing, I can act, my physical comedy is on point. I can do the splits.

— Logan Paul

A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!

— Henny Youngman

Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

— Romain Gary

A lot of people say that comedy doesnt travel well. I found it very accessible.

— Mark Addy

Comedy lives on in the web and TV, but nobody's pressing comedy albums anymore.

— Jason Alexander

My goal is really to just make people laugh with integrity, like, with something that I still find funny.

— Ali Wong

I feel both happy and sad in my life... Life is neither comedy nor tragedy. And so I just wanted to work…

— Cord Jefferson

It is not in the power of every one to taste humor, however he may wish it; it is the gift of…

— Laurence Sterne

“It's snowing." Rhys looked up at the light flakes that had started to drift down. "Yes, it is." I grimaced as I…

— Michelle Rowen

I still don't really know what my style is. I like a lot of different kinds of comedy, I like watching it…

— Bonnie McFarlane

The walking tour guides one through the city's various landmarks, reciting bits of information the listener might find enlightening. I learned, for…

— David Sedaris

“Because this absolutely insane - the craziest thing I'd ever done. Worse than giving a one-star review, scarier than asking for an…

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

I always wondered, like, you know how you go to the family barbecue, and your uncle is that funny guy that you…

— Brendan Schaub

My comedy is not like the tightest thing in the world. There are punchlines, there are jokes, but it's like, I like…

— Tim Dillon

“Gurdinn ignored him, still speaking to the baron. “I would sooner soak my cock in honey and ask a bear not to…

— Jeff Salyards

The law often permits what honor prohibits.

— Bernard-Joseph Saurin

I love comedy, but I did always consider myself a dramatic comedian.

— Molly Shannon

You may be witty, but not satirical.

— Horace Greeley

I love comedy and I'll never give it up.

— Suraj Venjaramood

“My type? What, a female between eighteen and sixty?”

— Caspar Vega

“The problem with all politicians is that they are human.”

— Steven Ivy - Attorney Entrepreneur

Comedy is an art which is extremely difficult to deliver.

— Johnny Lever

I've done the Hoboken Comedy Festival. It's cool.

— Andrew Schulz

“It's always funny until someone loses a testicle.”

— Bob N. Boguslavski

“No one can know your strength and weakness better than yourself.”

— Rahul Kumar Tilwani

“When you understand something it doesn't mean you accept it!”

— ey ramos

“In eternity there is no time, only an instant long enough for a joke.”

— Hermann Hesse

If I *don't* love something, is it still OK to set it free?

— John Alejandro King

I'd like to punch out a really old lady. There'd be no repercussions.

— Noel Fielding

“Lion dies with hungry but never eats grass”

— Anonymous

“Life could be horrible in the wrong trouser of time.”

— Terry Pratchett