Why do we call it a hot water-heater when there's no need to heat hot water? — Gallagher Copy Share Image
Detroit is drunken idiots. It was no surprise to me. I performed with Kenny Rogers for one year as his opening act, and I… — Gallagher Copy Share Image
I have spent my life paying attention to my art form, developing my art form, worrying about my show and what I'm bringing to… — Gallagher Copy Share Image
I need wrong to get laughs. I need a normal world so that I can be abnormal, and that's my problem. Comedians need prejudice. — Gallagher Copy Share Image
I know that I am an excellent live performer. I know that I have spent my life paying attention to my art form, developing… — Gallagher Copy Share Image
“Don't you wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work.” — Gallagher Copy Share Image
Parents are trying to be friends with their kids rather than draw the line and tell them what proper public behavior would be. — Gallagher Copy Share Image
I was the first one to allow a projectile to come off of the stage and into the audience. And I kind of take… — Gallagher Copy Share Image
I don't say that I'm going to be like every other comic that's blue, or gratuitous use of language. I do try to have… — Gallagher Copy Share Image
