“When the officer approached the window, he said ‘Papers’ and before he could finish, I shouted, ‘Scissors! I win,’ and drove off.” — Kyle Adams Copy Share Image
“(Brin) 'How good is your lawyer, on a scale of Atticus Finch to Franklin and Bash?” — Lisa Henry Copy Share Image
A conglomerate heap of trash, that's what I am. But it burns with a high flame. — Ray Bradbury Copy Share Image
“For a long moment the butler sat in silence, his jaw hanging open. “I . . . my lord, I simply don't… — Suzanne Enoch Copy Share Image
“It made her want to have his babies and give him both her kidneys.” — Rainbow Rowell Copy Share Image
All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years. — Sarah Palin Copy Share Image
Working on 'Parks' was like heaven because everyone there was just intimidatingly intelligent and funny, and we would have these hilarious debates… — Chelsea Peretti Copy Share Image
Girl: Take the condom off ! Boy: Why? Girl: YOLO. Boy: Okay, but if you get pregnant, YOYO. Girl: What's that ?… — Giftthabest Copy Share Image
Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph - when they speak, everyone listens. Because they're freaking hilarious. — Casey Wilson Copy Share Image
My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we… — Wendy Liebman Copy Share Image
I actually don't understand a word Paula's saying anymore. It's like a new language. — Simon Cowell Copy Share Image
If I was president of the good old U.S.A., I'd turn the churches into strip clubs and watch the whole world pray. — Kid Rock Copy Share Image
“Some people wish they were as happy as or happy like some people think they are.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“The point is, if we find out you’ve been horrible to Harry —” “— and make no mistake, we’ll hear about it.… — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
How are u in beauty school and still ugly as shit? WTF are u studying? — Derick Menendez Copy Share Image
“Shouldn't someone give a pep talk or something?' Minho asked... "Go ahead," Newt replied. Minho nodded and faced the crowd. 'Be careful,'… — James Dashner Copy Share Image
“At present, however, with his aching head and queasy stomach, Sebastian was feeling exceedingly resistible. Or if not that, then resistant. Aphrodite… — Julia Quinn Copy Share Image
“Some men’s chests are more buttlike than some women’s butts.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Now that he knew there was the possibility of gay porn in his future he was a happy hamster.” — Tam Ames - Caged Copy Share Image
“Jules could have sworn there was a devilish glint in the shopkeepers eye. 'I find today I am in need of a… — Julie Anne Long Copy Share Image
