Actually the hardest films to make are comedies. In normal life, funny things happen by accident; to re-create those by design in… — Takashi Miike Copy Share Image
“When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service….that's no chocolate on… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
I've heard of many chocoholics, but I ain't never seen no "chocohol". We got an epidemic, people: people who like chocolate but… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette. Unless you're actually a doctor working at an incubator. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
If you don't know what it is you're looking for you're NEVER going to find it. You have to be clear on… — Germany Kent Copy Share Image
It's funny, in some of the interviews I've seen that were done for the film, some people say things like, 'Oh, I… — Jim Woodring Copy Share Image
Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn't get serious with people. They… — Fanny Brice Copy Share Image
“I choked on the air I'd just sucked in and swung around in disbelief. "What did you just say?" "Me and the… — Rachel Brookes Copy Share Image
To me, the funniest American of the Twentieth Century is Richard Nixon because he had the most to hide, and he was… — Harry Shearer Copy Share Image
I was going to stay overnight at my friend's house - he said, "you'll have to sleep on the floor." Damn gravity!… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“People are funny sometimes, and that includes me. Every now and then we do or don't do something and we can't explain… — Gil Miller Copy Share Image
Racquetball is the only sport where simultaneously you can be looking at the ball and it'll hit you in the back of… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
Going around and having sex with every guy PROBABLY won't get you into that serious relationship you've been talking about, only get… — Chad Copy Share Image
“Can't you just hide us in shadows or something?' 'Sure, because a giant black cloud moving down the hallway isn't going to… — Rebecca Yarros Copy Share Image
Interestingly, we have beaten the market quite handsomely over this time frame, although beating the market has never been our objective. Rather,… — Seth Klarman Copy Share Image
“Each one you take is a commitment. If you break that commitment, the gods of alcohol will punish you with a hangover… — Cora Carmack Copy Share Image
“Holly's forgiven you?" "Almost mostly. But she still gives me slack about it when she's sick. I take it as a husbandly… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Giuseppe? Everything he says is wrong. GIUSEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
“GRANDMA: Are you a gay? ORPHEUS: I am straight. I'm definitely dating a girl, gran. Do you think she's a man? *She… — Scarlett Brukett Copy Share Image
Love is the jelly to sunshines peanut butter. And if I tell you that Im in sandwich with you, Im not just… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
A Boy Went To Girl N Said I Want To Click Ur's Photo . . Girl Ask What, Why ? Boy Replied… — Chirag Jain Copy Share Image
It is not every day that a pop superstar gets involved with terrorism as a victim, so the press takes advantage of… — Demis Roussos Copy Share Image
I don't like the beach. I think we have no business at the beach at all, as a species. We don't belong… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Yesterday, I came home early from work and found my Girlfriend cheating. The lazy bitch has hired a maid for cooking. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“What if you didn't have time to draw them on one day? Or what if it rained and your eyebrows started dripping… — Lauren Barnholdt Copy Share Image
I find it very funny as well as touching that people associate me with these characters I play and form a connect… — Pankaj Tripathi Copy Share Image
I may not be smart, pretty, exciting, Fun, Funny as other people.But I'm myself. I'm Weird, Crazy, and just awkward. Haha,Thats me.… — Jasmine Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I wish my brain didn't always have to warn me about things. Stupid people seem to live such easy, carefree lives.” — L.H. Cosway Copy Share Image
The Internet has done nothing but good for comedy all around. Comedians no longer have to rely on TV execs and club… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I'd like to keep exploring comedy. I didn't necessarily think of myself as a comedic actress, but it's a lot of fun. — Mamie Gummer Copy Share Image
If you imagine yourself to be someone who is very uncomfortable in their own skin, then it does funny things to your… — Rebecca Hall Copy Share Image
I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian. — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
“Why were you watching me change?" I explain. "Uh, 'cause I'm a guy?" He flips the pillow and slaps it, fluffing it.… — Miranda Kenneally Copy Share Image
My Friend dumped his GF last night. To make her feel better, I gave her company in her shower today & BITCH… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The twins no longer derive their sustenance from Nature's founts - in short," said Mr. Micawber, in one of his bursts of… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
I got jury duty and I didn't want to go, so my friend said, "You should write something really really racist on… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
“He'd gone from sixteen to seventy-five in a matter of seconds, but the old-man smell happened instantly, like boom. Congratulations! You stink!” — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
The prospects for a coherent, hilarious and consistent American comedy seem to lessen every year, as the poor waterlogged, gassy corpse called… — Stephen Hunter Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We were married and I walked into the room to see you in my new black… — Georgia Saratsioti Copy Share Image
Funny comes in different levels. Like not looking seasoned, or not looking prepared, the way that an actual comic should look, becomes… — Deon Cole Copy Share Image
