You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, "Ah, guess I'm not watching TV.… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Mable 'Madea' Simmons: What do you want to be? Nikki: I want to be a lawyer. Mable 'Madea' Simmons: That's good, I… — Madea Copy Share Image
There are a lot of comedic actors who are just out to be the funny one and get all the laughs and… — Jake M. Johnson Copy Share Image
That's always a funny thing, when people think they're known for every little thing they ever did, and they're really not. — Fred Willard Copy Share Image
As a cartoonist I do what I find funny. As an editor I have a broader approach realizing that humor is inherently… — Robert Mankoff Copy Share Image
“I hate you.' My sister said it different than she said it to my dad. She meant it with me. She really… — Stephen Chbosky Copy Share Image
When I create a story, I can make it however funny, sad, or happy I want it to be. And when I… — Marley Dias Copy Share Image
The Americans, who are the most efficient people on the earth, have carried [phrase-making] to such a height of perfection and have… — W. Somerset Maugham Copy Share Image
The awkward moment you think your clever enough to turn the volume up by the button on the side of the telly… — Holly Fitzgerald Copy Share Image
My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that… — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
Before you insult somebody you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you insult them you'll be a mile… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
With the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
There is a cliche that probably has some anecdotal evidence on the side that comedians are very depressed people, but that's because… — Robert Klein Copy Share Image
“I love you,” he says, though once he’s done it I can see he isn’t happy with it. He shakes his head… — Charlotte Stein Copy Share Image
Kissing on screen is just - funny enough, you're just acting, so you're distracted by that more than anything. Or at least… — Dylan O'Brien Copy Share Image
“It is best if the guard is in love with America and wants to overawe the American by being a premium guard.… — Jonathan Safran Foer Copy Share Image
When Dad died in 1998, it really hit my confidence - he'd helped me write and he thought I was really funny,… — Dolly Wells Copy Share Image
Israel also deprived the world of its chance of shedding tears of genuine sympathy over her destruction. The world resents this; it… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
I've been very lucky to work in a newsroom where there are lots of strong, funny, clever women in senior positions. — Kate Garraway Copy Share Image
There have been funny sequels, but I don't know if there have been that many that feel like they're - you know… — Phil Lord Copy Share Image
There's nothing I dislike more than being in a photo shoot where they say, 'Be yourself.' That's not why I became an… — Margot Robbie Copy Share Image
“Don't you just hate that, you meet a girl she seems pretty nice, you tell all your friends and before you know… — L.j Smith Copy Share Image
I have always been very fond of them (drama critics) . . . I think it is so frightfully clever of them… — Noel Coward Copy Share Image
“A totally nondenominational prayer: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I… — Roger Zelazny Copy Share Image
I have a Sharpie. I love Sharpies. You know what they say on them? Not for letter writing. That sucks. Now I… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
You know, I've always thought that it would be really funny if somebody made a romantic comedy where absolutely everything went well… — Fiona Apple Copy Share Image
Look at the limes in this drink, how they float. That's good news. Next time I'm on a boat, and it capsizes,… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
When I was a kid Pussy meant a Cat,Sex meant Gender,Bitch was a female dog, Dick was a name of a cartoon… — Aashi Copy Share Image
Someone's killed 100,000 people. We're almost going, "Well done! You killed 100,000 people? You must get up very early in the morning!… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
It’s like life. The more knowledge you get, the more questions you ask. The smarter you get, the more you realize that… — Georges St-Pierre Copy Share Image
Physically I'm not as strong as I was, but I try to make up for it mentally. It's a big challenge, and… — Karch Kiraly Copy Share Image
Jill Soloway is a friend of mine. She does 'Transparent,' and she's amazingly funny and brilliant and bright. And I love her… — Kenya Barris Copy Share Image
My sister Wendy has a husband and two children, and they have a family photo on top of the VCR, where they're… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Want to make a good first impression on a guy? Ask questions about him, seem interested, listen, giggle and swallow. — Family Guy Copy Share Image
“You're considerate and funny and you're a lover out of my dreams. Should I develop a taste for luxuries- which I may… — Anna Campbell Copy Share Image
I had been an abject fan of Martin and Lewis when I was a kid. I just thought they were terribly funny.… — Peter Bogdanovich Copy Share Image
“- Never. I've gone completely mar for you, Taylor Antonia Marsh. - That's not even my middle name! - It's a middle… — Elle Kennedy Copy Share Image
He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot."… — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
“She took two steps to the left. He shadowed her. She took three quick steps to the right. He did the same.… — Shelly Laurenston Copy Share Image
That Awkward Moment, Is That Moment When You Talk To Yourself And You Start Smiling Like An Idiot, Because You're Just So… — Pacifiersucker Copy Share Image
![“The Americans, who are the most efficient people on the earth, have carried [phrase-making] to such a height of perfection and have invented so wide a range of pithy and hackneyed phrases that they can carry on an amusing and animated conversation without giving a moment’s reflection to what they…” quote by W. Somerset Maugham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c6a/w-somerset-maugham-237_amusing_the-americans-who-are-the-most-efficient_1902021.jpg)
