At first I thought that I was extremely intelligent and everybody around me was only very average. But now I know that… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I grew up with a lot of really, really funny girls. We were encouraged to be funny. Our parents didn't filter us.… — Chloe Fineman Copy Share Image
We have been flooded with postal cards from all over the United States and several parallel universes. Just a quick glance though… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“If you hadn't stolen my bride away in the night, Rhysand, I would not have been forced to take such drastic measures… — Sarah J. Maas Copy Share Image
When someone chucks Skittles at you and tells you to taste the freakin rainbow, take them and sling them down their throat… — Guardian Copy Share Image
“Um..." I mumbled, "We wait." "What? Wait? Do you expect them to just come up here to the beach to get some… — Grace Fiorre Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“My legs, arms, torso, underarms, and parts of my eyebrows have been stripped of the stuff, leaving me like a plucked bird,… — Suzanne Collins Copy Share Image
Our characters act silly, even totally ridiculous at times, and most of our jokes don't come out of pop cultural references. It… — Stephen Hillenburg Copy Share Image
Being sexy is kind of funny to me. You know, I can get kind of spunky or I can get tough, you… — Reba McEntire Copy Share Image
I don't wear vanilla-scented lotion or perfume. Most girls love that crap, but I can't do it. 'Cause I can't be the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
So... the elephant says to the camel why do you have 2 boobs on your back? the camel replies that's a pretty… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
You never want to defend a joke. People get to choose whether or not to laugh and whether or not they think… — Larry Wilmore Copy Share Image
It is very funny, but you do not always have to see people to love them. Just think about it, and see… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“How does anyone think long-term around here?' 'Not everyone is in a quadrant where death is less of a chance and more… — Rebecca Yarros Copy Share Image
Farrakhan got everybody together for the Million Man March and everything. But Farrakhan don't like the Jews. Which is bugged. I get… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
It's funny: sometimes with 'Spaced,' people would try and read too much into something I'd done, with the references meaning something more… — Edgar Wright Copy Share Image
There aren't even enough stars in the sky, water drops in an ocean, or people in the world that could represent how… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If you think of the people who are funny in your life, you'll note it's not because they tell jokes, it's because… — Anne Beatts Copy Share Image
One of the first sights that shocked me, when I came to Israel in 1921, was an Arab turning over a field… — Golda Meir Copy Share Image
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather didin his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in… — SangFroid Stalker Copy Share Image
It's funny: I put money into short films, and I put really good actors in it, and I write some stuff that's… — Ben Schwartz Copy Share Image
I did a lot of sitcoms, and being funny isn't about being beautiful. Usually, beautiful people aren't the funny people. — Maura Tierney Copy Share Image
The annoying moment when your phone don't have enough battery to let you take pictures or make a call , but it… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age. But yesterday I should have thought me… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status. After 5 it should default to 'Unstable.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have no idea why gay men love me, but I would have to assume it's because they know how much I… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
When Jonathan Winters died, it was like, 'Oh, man!' I knew he was frail, but I always thought he was going to… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
What people actually think: ha = you. suck. haha = not that funny. hahaha = really funny actually. hahahaha = funniest. thing.… — Lala Copy Share Image
People think it's funny that I enjoy dreaming so much. I just use it as a form of entertainment. It's very private.… — Robert Smith Copy Share Image
Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine. Like, if Jerry Seinfeld wasn't funny, you'd… — Artie Lange Copy Share Image
This nation has never lived without independence. We cannot and shall not live without it. Either independence or death. — Mustafa Kemal Ataturk Copy Share Image
“We are way less likely to love someone just because they love us than we are to hate someone just because they… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a… — Kevin Meaney Copy Share Image
In my time at Anfield we always said we had the best two teams on Merseyside - Liverpool and Liverpool reserves. — Bill Shankly Copy Share Image
I know I'm known for dramas, but around my family and friends, I'm really goofy! Not saying I'm necessarily funny, but I'm… — Kylie Bunbury Copy Share Image
Madness is like intelligence, you know. You can't explain it. Just like intelligence. It comes on you, it fills you, and then… — Marguerite Duras Copy Share Image
Do you know, it's funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black… — Stevie Wonder Copy Share Image
“I glared at Christian as the blood smeared around. “You could have at least licked it.” He smirked darkly. “I hear that… — Dannika Dark Copy Share Image
Dinner was meat - not hunks of meat, as in Australia, but pathetic scraps of meat, as in Britain - which the… — Clive James Copy Share Image
