Ladies, don't complain about why he came home so late. Take him in the room & remind him why he should get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Liza took her time sipping her tea. “That’s what I hear Janet. Of course, living it up can take years off your… — Gwenn Wright Copy Share Image
“I broke up with this girl, and they put me with a psychiatrist who said, 'Why did you get so depressed, and… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“What did you tell them?” “I don't recall. I think I mentioned your discipline and ability to follow orders. I may have… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
It's funny how many people will come to Vegas to see your show where they might not come out to see you… — Reba McEntire Copy Share Image
The funny thing about 'The Naked Brothers Band' movie was that we tricked the audience into thinking that we were actually rock… — Alex Wolff Copy Share Image
When I signed for Vancouver, it was funny because my mom didn't really want me to move away. She was concerned about… — Alphonso Davies Copy Share Image
When a hot guy takes off his shirt. On the outside you're like:oh, cool. On the inside you're like: dkhsfkhdkskfhd ísufhdawouepa;i — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I know I can be diva-ish sometimes, but I have to be in control. The nature of my life, the nature of… — Mariah Carey Copy Share Image
If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Why don't you wear those tiny shorts when you run, like they do in the movies?" His voice was low and sexy,… — Liz Reinhardt Copy Share Image
Maybe that is why kids like Dumbledore: because he is funny rather than a miserable old sod with a long white beard. — Michael Gambon Copy Share Image
Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she… — Kimberly Broyles Copy Share Image
The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended-and not to take a hint when… — Robert Frost Copy Share Image
White people loved 'The Cosby Show,' especially liberal white people. They loved it because it was a great, funny, well - written,… — Rebecca Traister Copy Share Image
“This is your home,’ he said. ‘You are mistress of Finchley Park, Vanessa. You may do whatever you wish.’ Her smile broadened.… — Mary Balogh Copy Share Image
Only one thing is going to remain with you: that is your witnessing, that is your watchfulness. This watchfulness is meditation. — Rajneesh Copy Share Image
And when I say equality, I mean equality for everybody. Who are you telling who they can marry and who they can’t?… — Pharrell Williams Copy Share Image
“For my sustenance at night, the whole that my hands can glean from the gloom of the oak-gloomed oaks-- the herbs and… — Flann O'Brien Copy Share Image
Ozzy wanted to get us back together. It's been 20 years. We did a couple of songs during his farewell in 1992… — Geezer Butler Copy Share Image
“ ‘I knew it, I knew it, I damn well knew it,’ he shouted. ‘The President was right you’re all infected with… — A.R. Merrydew Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, HAPPY, a union which is in full flower when the husband knows what to remember and his wife understands what to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes laughing isn't the best judge of what's funny, 'cause I think there's a lot of things that are really funny that… — Tim Heidecker Copy Share Image
“I knew you’d be late,” Zane commented as Ty walked past him. “And I knew you’d still have that stick up your… — Abigail Roux & Madeleine Urban Copy Share Image
Nowhere but in France are people so strictly observant of great matters and so disdainfully indulgent about small ones. — Honore de Balzac Copy Share Image
I love being able to look back at certain times in my life through music. It's like this funny documentation process I… — Gracie Abrams Copy Share Image
It seems that Canada's historic mission is to come to the selfless aid both of its friends and of complete strangers, and… — Kevin Myers Copy Share Image
I'm walking out my door to get like a Snapple, and someone's like 'yo man, you want to buy some heroin?' 'No...… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Rick was a real gentleman. He was very kind and had an amazing sense of humour - he was the funny one… — Dave Clark Copy Share Image
Doctors finally figured out whats wrong with a boys brain; on the left side, theres nothing right; and on the right side,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“[He] carefully put a funky-looking pair of reading glasses on her. "There we go. How are they?" She blinked experimentally, peering around… — Kylie Scott Copy Share Image
Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“These waters are sacred to us and for you to be allowed to swim in these waters is a rare honour. What… — Peter Koevari Copy Share Image
“Words were his delight; Hers, a gay gracefulness Of dancing and moving. But when to the place Of deep loving (Starlight at… — Theodore Spencer Copy Share Image
“More often than not, expecting to lose weight without first losing the diet that made the weight loss necessary is like expecting… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“If that's the case, waiter, please bring me another piece of cake," Gramps said as lunch was brought to the table, "I'm… — E.A. Bucchianeri Copy Share Image
Sometimes I want to be completely outlandish and funny, but sometimes I feel the need to prove myself as a rapper. — Lil Dicky Copy Share Image
Friendship is rainbow between 2 hearts. Sharing 7 colors: love, sadness, happiness, truth, faith, secret, & respect. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That's what 'Sex Ed' does so beautifully: it's happy then sad, tragic, then funny. It really captures what life is. — Aimee Lou Wood Copy Share Image
“Women can’t resist a man with strong squeezing hands. Tells us you must be great at, oh, I don’t know…making juice. Opening… — Meg Maguire Copy Share Image
![“[He] carefully put a funky-looking pair of reading glasses on her. "There we go. How are they?" She blinked experimentally, peering around the room. "Good, I think. Thank you." "Wear them the next time we f***. That would be thanking me." "Aww. You say the sweetest things." "Don't I?” quote by Kylie Scott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/100/kylie-scott-2749_funny_he-carefully-put-a-funky-looking-pair-of_1595933.jpg)
