Yes, he wanted me to do Funny Games before, which I didn't want to do because the film was very theoretical -… — Isabelle Huppert Copy Share Image
You've a very important, early decision to make in your life: are you going to be alone, or are you going to… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The more I look around and listen I realize that I'm not alone. We are all facing choices that define us. No… — Sabrina Ward Harrison Copy Share Image
The women whose company I most enjoy are invariably loud, opinionated, funny types who can best be described as 'blokey.' But they… — Julia Hartley-Brewer Copy Share Image
“Crazy moment!! When you suddenly laughed because you remember something funny and then realised that strangers were lookin at you weirdly (why… — Khaled Copy Share Image
You hear people talking about a Scottish sense of humour, or a Glaswegian sense of humour, all sorts of countries and cities… — Limmy Copy Share Image
“Because, of course, of how intelligent you are. And funny. Not that you aren't attractive. Because you are. Attractive. Oh, bugger..." I… — Stephanie Perkins Copy Share Image
My life is fair game for anybody. I spent an unhappy, penniless childhood in Brooklyn. I had to slug my way up… — Susan Hayward Copy Share Image
“When I was small I dreamed of demons. I thought they were under my bed, but you said, it can't be so,… — Hilary Mantel Copy Share Image
[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
When I was a boy, my mom wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In… — Jeff Shaw Copy Share Image
“So what's it to be, Bear?" Dev lifted his leg and gave a sarcastic slap to his thigh. "By golly, I'll take… — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
Have a look sometimes into the depths of pain. What is the value of a human being and what constitutes humanity? This… — Mohd Aariff Khan Copy Share Image
'What do you fear my lady?' 'A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them and all chance… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sex is a very narrow avenue. You only have so many holes and parts, and eventually, you run out of things to… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Big story at the Olympics regarding Michael Phelps. He stepped out with his girlfriend for the first time. She is a 25-year-old… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Be careful who you're calling a child, Lois, because if I'm a child, that makes you a pedophile. And I'll be damned… — Peter Griffin Copy Share Image
“ITS NOT FUNNY!" "You're right," agreed Sydney. "It's no funny. It's hilarious." We were back at Raymond's house, in the privacy of… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
“To ask a man whether or not he has a girlfriend is to talk about his sex life. If you disagree with… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
It is not for me to change you. The question is, how can I be of service to you without diminishing your… — R. Buckminster Fuller Copy Share Image
A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussel sprouts… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
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Grandma told me Mama was once caught by the Principal for writing in the front of her book, "In Case of Fire,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“I try to think up material that might apply to the subjects they are studying. How many mitochondria does it take to… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I have read a thousand screenplays, and I have acted in a handful of them, and I have felt when it feels… — Ryan Eggold Copy Share Image
You'd got a baseball game, or a football game, basketball game, "USA! USA! USA!" Hey, calm down! Got a little German on… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach… — Amy Poehler Copy Share Image
“All trademarks, company names, registered names, products, characters, mottos, logos, jingles and catchphrases used or cited in this work are the property… — E.A. Bucchianeri Copy Share Image
Magic is never totally scientifically explainable, but science has always been, at one time or another, considered magic. — Anton Szandor LaVey Copy Share Image
On 'Workaholics,' I feel like I'm just hanging out with my buddies being filmed, but on 'Mindy,' I'm around professional funny people… — Anders Holm Copy Share Image
My first gigs were at university: I'd dress up as Jesus, jump off a cross and dance to a Mick Jagger song.… — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
If all woman in the world died today, human race would no longer possess the secret of how to properly wrap a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“It was like my uterus was tapping out a happy dance on the rest of my organs. God, I was dying the… — Cora Carmack Copy Share Image
“She swallowed nervously, blinking. “Are you… proposing to me?” I laughed, shaking my head. “No, darling. It’s better than a marriage proposal.”… — Dari A. Malaunt Copy Share Image
You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
“Don't worry about being nervous. A lot of vampires have trouble with this from time to time. It happens to everyone." "If… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
I got kicked out of the zoo for feeding the ducks ... to the alligators...All I wanted was to complete the circle… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“Story Content Warning: There will be angst, sex, a little rough language and rampant lesbianism. If this is not your cup of… — BadSquirrel Copy Share Image