Q: What is the difference b/w secretary & private secretary? Ans: Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR & Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR — Sadie Copy Share Image
Pappu: Muje apki beti se shadi krni hai! Father: Tumhari salary meri beti k liye toilet paper bhi afford nhi kr skti… — Aakash Pattanayak Copy Share Image
My target audience is anyone who finds the world interesting and human behavior fascinating, terrible, inspiring, funny, and occasionally, mysterious. — Amy Bloom Copy Share Image
It's funny because there's a part of me that, if something is popular, I sort of become a defiant teenager about it.… — AJ Lee Copy Share Image
I can think of a number of areas in New York where three acres of nuclear waste would make the neighborhood safer… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When I shake my ass you start runnin fast im always sayin fuck my haterz & my past I'm da one chick… — My Raps Copy Share Image
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
“Mama operated under the assumption that I was eight years old and incapable of feeding myself. It was physically impossible for her… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
You can tell a lot about a person from what they purchase at Wal-Mart. My purchase says that I don't shower or… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The way I see it, if you declare something portable, you'll always be wrong, and if you declare it non-portable, you'll always… — Larry Wall Copy Share Image
If I had not had so much ambition and not tried to do so many things, I probably would have been happier,… — Thomas A. Edison Copy Share Image
You ever buy a book and not read it? You feel almost guilty having it up on a bookshelf. People are like,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“D'you know what that - (he called Snape something that made Hermoine say "Ron!")" - is making me do? I've got to… — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
“Where'd you learn to do all these funny things?' he laughed. 'And you know I say funny but there's sumpthin so durned… — Jack Kerouac Copy Share Image
“There is no real bravery in getting paid to save someone's life. However, there is a large amount of bravery in a… — Shannon Alder Copy Share Image
FACT: HATERS don't really hate you. They hate THEMSELVES because YOU are the reflection of what they wished to be. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mahn y'all aint gon b'lee me. I just saw a Ni55ar in PoloShirt Wit Mayweather punchin PacMan as da Logo. Eiii... These… — PreezY Copy Share Image
If Charles Lindbergh, flying with no instruments other than a bologna sandwich, managed to cross the Atlantic and land safely on a… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I'm going to be one of the top four that's ever played this game, for sure. And if they don't want me… — LeBron James Copy Share Image
Some call-in moderators are neutral and courteous. Then there's Rush Limbaugh, who is funny and pompous and a scapegoater and hatemonger. His… — Donella Meadows Copy Share Image
The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson,… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
“Obsessive compulsive" Nikolaus mumble in amusement. "I would rather eat a grenade than make a line with two different colors!" Remy responded… — Abigail Roux Copy Share Image
If you're a guy over 30 by yourself in the hotel pool, you automatically look like a murderer who's just relaxing after… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
When I heard Cristiano Ronaldo was pictured holding a manbag, I was surprised it was a gucci bag and not another guy's… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
It's funny, because even though on a drama like 'Picket Fences' those long monologues would stress me out, doing special effects where… — Holly Marie Combs Copy Share Image
I remember nearly having a fit of the giggles during the reading because dear Daniel was SO respectful and serious and I… — Madeleine Stowe Copy Share Image
“I rubbed at my temple, where the zit was gone. It still hurt a little , though, deep under the skin. I… — Lili St. Crow Copy Share Image
You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
The first condition for comedy is that if you laugh at your own jokes, others won't laugh. You have to say something… — Saswata Chatterjee Copy Share Image
You have to have funny faces and words, you can't just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that's… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
All his life he [Robert Kennedy] had been schooled that nothing was worse than to finish second. But crushing fears are no… — Jack Newfield Copy Share Image
When a doting person gets down on all fours and plays with a puppy's rubber mouse, for instance, it only confuses the… — Corey Ford Copy Share Image
Of course drugs were fun. And that's what's so stupid about anti-drug campaigns: they don't admit that. I can't say I feel… — Anjelica Huston Copy Share Image
If you are in trouble anywhere in the world, an airplane can fly over and drop flowers, but a helicopter can land… — Igor Sikorsky Copy Share Image
“What are we watching?" [...] [...] He hugged her closer. "The sacrifices I make for you -just watch." She was intrigued enough… — Nalini Singh Copy Share Image
So I knocked on the door at this bed & Breakfast and a lady stuck her head out of the window and… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
The toughest nights when I was a young, unknown comedian were opening for these real old-time Italian singers. I'm like Grace Jones… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
If I was a teacher, I would try to figure out who had a crush on who and make sure they are… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Last Halloween a kid tried to rip my face off. He thought it was a mask. Now it's different when I open… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“Mr Moss's courtyard is railed in like a cage, lest the gentlemen who are boarding with him should take a fancy to… — William Makepeace Thackeray Copy Share Image
![“All his life he [Robert Kennedy] had been schooled that nothing was worse than to finish second. But crushing fears are no longer so crushing once they are experienced.” quote by Jack Newfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f8f/jack-newfield-41416_crush_all-his-life-he-robert-kennedy-had-been_1039807.jpg)
![“What are we watching?" [...] [...] He hugged her closer. "The sacrifices I make for you -just watch." She was intrigued enough to pay attention to the screen. " Pride and Prejudice ," she read out. "It's a book written by a human. Nineteenth century?" "Uh-huh." "The hero is... Mr. Darcy?" "Yes…” quote by Nalini Singh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/874/nalini-singh-293_funny_what-are-we-watching-he-hugged-her-close_3180199.jpg)
