I don't think of myself as a comedian, but as an artist, a scientist and chemist who just happens to be funny.… — Marlon Wayans Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Something that changes the demeanour of a driver -- there is no longer any effort needed to keep both hands on… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“It's just Mor, you know. Amren is the only person in this court who calls me Morrigan, and that's because she's a… — Sarah J. Maas Copy Share Image
From my dad ... I think we have a similar sense of humor. I don't know if that's a good or bad… — Jenna Bush Copy Share Image
Sometimes me think, what is a friend, and then me say a friend is someone to share the best cookie with, -love… — Ana 13 Copy Share Image
“How about this,' I said. 'We modify our plans with regard to ongoing facts as they become known to us, then remodify… — Jasper Fforde Copy Share Image
Girl asks his mom if u swallow sperm, is that how u get pregnant? Mom answers, No Hun, that's how u pay… — Adrianrayshawn Copy Share Image
If we admit our depression openly and freely, those around us get from it an experience of freedom rather than the depression… — Rollo May Copy Share Image
“Then he smiled. It was the first time I’d seen him smile, and it threw me. It was kind of…awesome. He spoke:… — Adrienne Kress Copy Share Image
I would love to host 'Saturday Night Live.' That's one of my goals in life - just putting that out there. I… — Alessia Cara Copy Share Image
Yesterday, at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how he prepared the chicken. He replied, "We don't...we just tell it straight that… — Mahesh Shroff Copy Share Image
“I decided to do the easy task of changing situations and conditions by being a hero, than staying back to do the… — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
Age: that period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still cherish by reviling those that we no… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
I dont care what people say...its funny how they think their opinion would even matter to me...i am very comfortable in my… — Alexia Copy Share Image
“The boys exchanged uneasy glances. It was their first experience with the inexorable logic of women, which is overwhelming even, or perhaps… — John Steinbeck Copy Share Image
I thought it's very funny that I ended up as a voiceover guy because when I started out as an actor, I… — D. B. Sweeney Copy Share Image
Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even… — Daisy Copy Share Image
“A premature death does not only rob one of the countless instances where one would have experienced pleasure, it also saves one… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
The movies,i ended up eating all the popcron and drinking all the soda and the movie did'nt even start yet,so much trailers… — Sally Copy Share Image
The goal is to win. It's not about making money. I have many much less risky ways of making money than this… — Roman Abramovich Copy Share Image
Having a baby changes the way you view your in-laws. I love it when they come to visit now. They can hold… — Matthew Broderick Copy Share Image
It's funny: I rarely reference anything, and I'm one of those people that doesn't really spend much time in other people's worlds.… — David Slade Copy Share Image
When something is 'new and improved', which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It's funny in the U.K., where I'm not really known because I never did a soap. My English cousins in the Lake… — Jacki Weaver Copy Share Image
It's only afterwards that it becomes anything like a story at all. When you're telling it, to yourself or to someone else. — Margaret Atwood Copy Share Image
No comedian's wife thinks he's funny. The first few years of the marriage, maybe. I was funny as hell the first couple… — Tom Smothers Copy Share Image
“Mortimer had maxed three credit cards stocking the cave with canned goods and medical supplies and tools and everything a man needed… — Victor Gischler Copy Share Image
Good girls prefer the missionary position Bad girls do too, but only for starters Naughty girls add some new chapters in the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, "You know, most of these sports are based on the idea… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Working with Kal Penn in 'Namesake' was funny at times. What we did was so real. We had fun on and off… — Tabu Copy Share Image
I walk up a dune to a beach and look out to sea, but it's 100km away. The ships lie askew in… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
“Think your mother will let me drive you to school tomorrow? Now that we're all friends and united by a belief in… — Stacey Jay Copy Share Image
High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they're both great to read when you're baked, but… — David Cross Copy Share Image
Have you ever noticed that woman's I'll be ready in five minutes and man's I'll be home in five minutes are exactly… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I like Wagner's music better than anybody's. It is so loud that one can talk the whole time without other people hearing… — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
I loved 'Funny Lady' for whatever reason. People say they didn't know I could sing and dance. Well, nobody ever asks me… — James Caan Copy Share Image
Every time when I eat certain foods, I get tired of eating it and then go back and eat the food that… — BigHeartedPerson Copy Share Image
The stone age was marked by man's clever use of crude tools; the information age, to date, has been marked by man's… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny that a lot of the fans of 'Angel' have come over and hung out with me on 'Leverage.' I was… — Christian Kane Copy Share Image
