Boy: Hey, I think a crayon raped your face? Oh wait, never mind, that's your makeup. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your foot falls asleep so you just stomp around like a dinosaur — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My house isn't messy. Those are just obstacles I've put in place for any Burglars that try to break in... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Unless you know the whole situation and know FACTS...keep your mouth shut! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch. — Hermione Gingold Copy Share Image
I am paid by the word, so I always write the shortest words possible. — Bertrand Russell Copy Share Image
It's my personal perspective that you live as hard and as vigorously as you can... — Diem Brown Copy Share Image
Life is short. I'm 47 years old. I've got 10 years to go where I can be the best I can be.… — Jean-Claude Van Damme Copy Share Image
“…Sienar System's basic TIE fighter—a commodity which, after hydrogen and stupidity, was the most plentiful in the galaxy…” — Corran Horn Copy Share Image
You behave as if everything is funny to you, but you never laugh. Sometimes you smile when you think no one is… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“She'd been in labor for nineteen hours; I completely understood why she wanted to pass the buck. 'You are so beautiful,' her… — Jodi Picoult Copy Share Image
“Daemon pressed his forehead against mine. "Oh, I still want to strangle you. But I'm insane. You're crazy. Maybe that's why. We… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
I was greatly influenced by 'The Goons' and 'Monty Python' reconstituting what comedy was - it could come from a funny word,… — Sanjeev Bhaskar Copy Share Image
Delivery k baad bachche ki mutthi band thi, Muthi khol k dekha gaya to usme iPill ka tablet tha or hath me… — Sadie Copy Share Image
I'd probably be starstruck to interview Martin Scorsese. He seems so funny from watching his daughter's TikToks of them together. — Amelia Dimoldenberg Copy Share Image
