Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer. — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Friends. They are so beautiful and so awkward it's like watching a unicorn run into a window screen. — UnicornLegends Copy Share Image
I go back to where I came from, to where I was before I was born, that’s all. — Albert Hofmann Copy Share Image
Once a relationship is done, it's done. You can't do that back and forth thing. — Taylor Swift Copy Share Image
Life doesn't happen along interstates. It's against the law. — William Least Heat-Moon Copy Share Image
The first sign of a nervous breakdown is when you start thinking your work is terribly important. — Milo Bloom Copy Share Image
Your main contribution is spray painting your nickname on other people's things. And my cousin, who's a 'gangster', he's like, 'No, Tash,… — Natasha Leggero Copy Share Image
When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
“You really think love needs to have a future?” “Absolutely.” “Good,” Lily said. “So do I.” “Good,” I echoed, leaning in. “So… — David Levithan Copy Share Image
“The poorly sophisticated, since many of us are, as presumed to be, lacking in good arguments, we are then prone to being… — Criss Jami Copy Share Image
Long before I started to write in earnest, Lorrie Moore taught me you could have a woman narrator who was funny and… — Miranda July Copy Share Image
If the writing is good, then the writing is already funny. All you have to do is make this funny writing true… — Constance Wu Copy Share Image
I really related to Ellen more than anybody. I loved the way she had a way of taking small details in life… — Deon Cole Copy Share Image
