Show Me The Funny' was not very successful ratings wise, but the right people saw me. — Ellie Taylor Copy Share Image
I told him he'd have a heart attack a year ago, but unfortunately he lived a year longer. — Eugene Ormandy Copy Share Image
I only have three scenes and each is a turn and she gets progressively drunker. It's all terribly funny and its main… — Louise Jameson Copy Share Image
“Nix had told Emma before she'd left for Europe that on this trip she would 'do that which you were born to… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
Sexual intercourse is a grossly overrated pastime; the position is undignified, the pleasure momentary and the consequences damnable. — Lord Chesterfield Copy Share Image
I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the… — Jeff Stilson Copy Share Image
When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
“When you’re given the gift of truth, you spend a lot of time trying to tone it down because it is already… — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
Your friendship means so much to me that... When you cry, I cry. When you laugh, I laugh. When you jump out… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Every time a baseball player grabs his crotch, it makes him spit. That's why you should never date a baseball player. — Marsha Warfield Copy Share Image
My fans are so funny, they make me laugh so much. I've got some really, really, funny, clever fans. — Ellie Goulding Copy Share Image
You are not your thoughts, and you are not the product of your thoughts. — Alan Finger Copy Share Image
Most of my mannerisms come from my Mum, who is quite a funny, witty, chatty person. My Dad was very shy. — Jason Bonham Copy Share Image
There are three sides to an argument, your side, my side, and the right side, which is still my side! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Death would be an extremely bad thing like most of us paint it, if being dead were painful.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Identify the dominant philosophy of a society and you can predict its future. — Ayn Rand Copy Share Image
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me." — Tim Vine Copy Share Image
“Do you hear it? The loud noise from the room at night? Never mind, It's just my mom snoring.” — Sarah Willey Copy Share Image
“Anything for you, Dru. And I mean it. Now, be quiet and let me concentrate.” — Lili St. Crow Copy Share Image
Choose to deliver amazing service to your customers. You'll stand out because they don't get it anywhere else. — Kevin Stirtz Copy Share Image
When people judge and criticize you, remember it says nothing about you, but everything about them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Mobile phone, thank you for being there when I'm in awkward situations. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
Get out the rye bread and mustard grandma, cause it's GRAND SALAMI TIME! — Dave Niehaus Copy Share Image
Hollywood, we decided, was a nice place to die, but we wouldn't want to live there. — Jack Paar Copy Share Image
