Can you please be serious ? Ok,ok... I'm gonna be serious now.*DEEP BREATH..* *Bursts out laughing* — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My Parents should be proud of me because I'm addicted to Facebook noy to drugs! — Xavier Copy Share Image
Just a reminder - a guidebook is no substitute for skill, experience, judgment and lots of tension. — Charlie Fowler Copy Share Image
If all things are possible with God, then all things are possible to him who believes in Him. — Corrie Ten Boom Copy Share Image
I don't feel bad about online shopping at work. It's the only place where I can spend money WHILE I make it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We learn from the Gospel that when they asked Jesus what the truth was, he did not reply. — Giulio Andreotti Copy Share Image
Dammit Sir, it's your duty to get married. You can't always be living for pleasure! — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an… — Tim Vine Copy Share Image
Work on the Who, the Who, and the Who. Add some Who, and then explore the Who. The What and Where will… — T. J. Jagodowski Copy Share Image
A lot of entertainment, and especially in a half-hour format, can be all jokes, all the time. And some of those jokes… — Ari Graynor Copy Share Image
Now the point of comedy is not just looking funny, it's use of language. We have at our disposal a great language...… — Barry Humphries Copy Share Image
“They arrived home again to a most peculiar sight. The small garden at the front of the Banana House had been transformed.… — Hilary McKay Copy Share Image
The Americans are extremely gadget minded people and American gadgets have a peculiar characteristic: they work. — George Mikes Copy Share Image
When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Henry Miller is a famous writer whose work has fallen out of fashion, but I strongly recommend that readers who don't know… — Siri Hustvedt Copy Share Image
All my seams have meaning - they emphasize something about the body, — Charles James Copy Share Image
If you're ever feeling down, just remember that I'll always be there to feel you up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Crisis: When dinner is ready, I CRISIS, and my sister comes running. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If people winked in real life as much as they wink on bbm and in text, this world would be a very… — Araba Copy Share Image
Get good counsel before you begin; and when you have decided, act promptly. — Sallust Copy Share Image
Works indeed are good, and God strictly requires them of us, but they do not make us holy. — Martin Luther Copy Share Image
“Brother Wolf gave Anna an amused look and then went back to being scary.” — Patricia Briggs Copy Share Image
“Comedians aren't funny, because comedians try to be funny, and people who try to be funny aren't funny.” — Anonymous Blog Post Copy Share Image
There's always a light at the end of a tunnel. Just pray it isn't a train! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
God spares us because He is good, but He could not be good if He were not just. — Aiden Wilson Tozer Copy Share Image
Wait! Don't applaud my cheapness! I've got other crap I need help with! — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“Get used to gaps in your comprehension,” said Sabetha. “The rest of us certainly have.” — Scott Lynch Copy Share Image
There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid. — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
The California cemeteries make dying sound so attractive it's a real effort to keep breathing. — Jack Paar Copy Share Image
Funny the way it is, not right or wrong, somebody's heart is broken, and it becomes your favorite song. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My dog is having puppies and I need to take a year off in order to train them to attack your picture. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have always been told that I was a funny, entertaining person and have always been told to give comedy a try. — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
