“You making jokes about my illness? Not funny. Me making jokes about my illness? Funny.” — Carla Ulbrich Copy Share Image
There a 3 types of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can't. — Unnnown Copy Share Image
Happiness is simply to allow everything to be exactly as it is from moment to moment. — Rupert Spira Copy Share Image
Dad, sorry the cute things I did as a kid couldn't be shamelessly exploited on YouTube or a reality show... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician. — Marty Feldman Copy Share Image
Do you know how happiness begins? It begins with no longer being afraid. — Guus Kuijer Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night... you sat in a cardboard box and said you were a tree.” — Nicole McKay Copy Share Image
Working with Kal Penn in 'Namesake' was funny at times. What we did was so real. We had fun on and off… — Tabu Copy Share Image
Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, "You know, most of these sports are based on the idea… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I walk up a dune to a beach and look out to sea, but it's 100km away. The ships lie askew in… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
“Think your mother will let me drive you to school tomorrow? Now that we're all friends and united by a belief in… — Stacey Jay Copy Share Image
Have you ever noticed that woman's I'll be ready in five minutes and man's I'll be home in five minutes are exactly… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they're both great to read when you're baked, but… — David Cross Copy Share Image
I like Wagner's music better than anybody's. It is so loud that one can talk the whole time without other people hearing… — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
I loved 'Funny Lady' for whatever reason. People say they didn't know I could sing and dance. Well, nobody ever asks me… — James Caan Copy Share Image
When you see the beloved all around you, everyone is family and everywhere is love. — Ram Dass Copy Share Image
The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them. — Jackie Collins Copy Share Image
Teacher: I beautiful. What tense is this? Student: obviously past tense. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thought is not merely expressed in words, it comes into existence through them — Lev S. Vygotsky Copy Share Image
“Cowboy!" she hollered. Every man on the street turned to stare at her.” — Lori Wilde Copy Share Image
When you talk like an asshole and look like an asshole, you're an asshole — John Lydon Copy Share Image
Age is a tyrant who forbids at the penalty of life all the pleasures of youth. — Francois La Rochefoucauld Copy Share Image
YES, I'm pregnant again. YES, I know what causes it. NO I don't think I've had too many! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me: Your face must turn a few heads. She: And your face must turn a few stomachs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we should never need solace. — Don Herold Copy Share Image
“Who’s driving the boat?” Over the motor, I heard girls screaming at us the instant before we crashed.” — Jennifer Echols Copy Share Image
I'm not single. I'm in a long standing relationship with fun and freedom — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Let's rejoice that the herculean task of trying to ignore Harry Potter is almost over. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I just like working with people that I respect and think are really funny. — Busy Philipps Copy Share Image
I don't count myself as a fashionista because I do a lot of other things. That's just a small part of my… — Iris Apfel Copy Share Image
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. — Jimmy Durante Copy Share Image
You go beyond 'I want it. I want to have it' - to - 'I'm going to have it — Marilyn Horne Copy Share Image
