Forget the Bible, the greatest argument against human evolution is a YouTube comment thread. — Damien Fahey Copy Share Image
Exams don't test what you know. They test how well you can study the night before. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't mean he missed him, but he just didn't get him when he put the tag on him. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
Hahahaha...you so funny...but not as funny as your face... My photography teacher in 8th said this. lol — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are now more TV's in British households than there are people - which is a bit of a worry. — Prince Charles Copy Share Image
It's so weird to think that before Twitter, all of this nonsense just stayed in people's heads. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's funny, because there are so many stereotypes out there about actors and movie stars in general, but I've had a great… — Ryan Reynolds Copy Share Image
“Pick up a thing," [Wizard Kadmeion's]mother would say. "Touch, smell, and taste it. Listen to its nonsense. Then put the funny thing… — Lita Burke Copy Share Image
A film that I love is 'Raising Arizona' and that's funny but it's quite indie and weird and odd and quirky. I'd… — Stephen Moyer Copy Share Image
I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
You make me laugh at things that aren't funny. You make me smile without actually being here. You make my stomach flip… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I simply regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world created therein has different rules than my regular… — Mindy Kaling Copy Share Image
I had a client who just wanted to entertain me the whole time, that is a defense against going deep, in my… — Kelly Carlin-McCall Copy Share Image
I guess we were kinda poor when we were kids, but we didn't know it. That's because my dad always refused to… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
Because you know I'm All about that bass 'Bout that bass, no treble. — Meghan Trainor Copy Share Image
After you eat a Hot Pocket, Everything will taste like rubber for a month! — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
There is a time to take a stand and there is a time to take your leave. — Chip Ingram Copy Share Image
I'm gonna cross 3/4 of the street, then turn around and go back for no fucking reason. -Squirrels — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't' call it a failure, call it an education. Some of us are very educated. — Rick Warren Copy Share Image
“don't make me throw my boot at you, because I will, you grumpy high testosterone driven male” — Keisha Keenleyside Copy Share Image
To all those i've hurt in the past I'd just like to say…ah well you probably deserved it — Avi Chauhan Copy Share Image
What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch and one on the throttle. — Bob Varsha Copy Share Image
You can only be funny if you have matters of great importance on your mind. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
The perfecting of one's self is the fundamental base of all progress and all moral development. — Confucius Copy Share Image
I find comedy natural. I'm not saying I'm funny - I'm saying I'm silly. — Harris Dickinson Copy Share Image
It's funny how you think I care about what you say about me behind my back. — Jacob G Copy Share Image
By George!" cried the inspector. "How did you ever see that?" Because I looked for it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When someone let you go first and said, ladies first, say bitches follow — Green Monk Copy Share Image
There's something darn funny about an old librarian with a potty mouth. — Patrick Carman Copy Share Image
![“Pick up a thing," [Wizard Kadmeion's]mother would say. "Touch, smell, and taste it. Listen to its nonsense. Then put the funny thing in its proper place.” quote by Lita Burke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/78b/lita-burke-34187_funny_pick-up-a-thing-wizard-kadmeion-s-mother_455559.jpg)
