So actually, there could be parents-of-the-parents-of-the-parents-of-the parents? — Lois Lowry Copy Share Image
Sometimes when my internet is down I forget the rest of my computer still works… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not a movie guy, I'm not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good for… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
I'm a professional comic. Whether you think I'm funny or not, that's, again, subjective. — David Cross Copy Share Image
“It wasn't that funny, but I laughed. There wouldn't be much laughter in the world if people didn't like each other, because… — John Barnes Copy Share Image
This Independence Day you're invited to my house where a large gathering of people will proudly display their dependence on drugs and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm going to take this God-given gift of being funny, and I'm going to spread it out like peanut butter on everything… — Steve Harvey Copy Share Image
I come across as a very serious and mature girl but there is also a mad and funny side to me which… — Neha Pendse Copy Share Image
That's the first time he had started from the front row in a Grand Prix, having done so in Canada earlier this… — Murray Walker Copy Share Image
When girls have a great night out, they talk about it for months. When guys have a great night out, that night… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I've done a lot of theater in my time, and in rehearsals, you're like, 'Well, we find it funny,' but until you… — Phil Dunster Copy Share Image
When I was 14, I saw someone getting their face and wrists slashed with a knife in a pub in Catford. Nobody… — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
Its not the smell that I get attracted to, its her eyes that makes me fall apart ;) — Jaseem Kapoor Copy Share Image
That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
You do bad things for no reason. You do them to be a d**k... if you're gonna be bad, be bad with… — Damon Salvatore Copy Share Image
Holding her hand in public is just another way of saying you'reproud to have her. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, "if you want it your way, cook it yourself." — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is. — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
My mother married a very good man ... and she is not at all keen on my doing the same. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
At the Touch of love, Everyone becomes a poet At the Touch of Breakup, Everyone becomes a philosopher .. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
I hate when I'm singing a song and some idiot thinks the can join with me… dumb fuck this isn't glee — Khadijahhomes Copy Share Image
COP: sir, have you been drinking? MAN: no! COP: papers.. MAN: Scissors, I WIN! — Ana Copy Share Image
You know the Hulk? That is what the Green Giant looks like when you don't eat your vegetables. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We must invite the Cross to do its deadly work within before we can be free. — Aiden Wilson Tozer Copy Share Image
Trust is something that you have in a condom when the partner is not your spouse — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You can't choose your potential, but you can choose to fulfill it. — Theodore Roosevelt Copy Share Image
Researchers claim that the Internet is making us dumber and more impatient. I dont get it. Moving on. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I am suspicious of a holiday solely devoted to a man's inability to ask for directions... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wanted to change the world . But I could not even change my underwear. — John Grant Copy Share Image
You are the only one who gets to decide what you will be remembered for. — Taylor Swift Copy Share Image
Every African has a responsibility to understand the system and work towards it's overthrow. — Walter Rodney Copy Share Image
