Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative. — Henry A. Kissinger Copy Share Image
In the beginning it was just about the business - now it's about the brand. — Richard Branson Copy Share Image
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
A laughing Lear would be monstrous. Not so a laughing Romeo and Juliet. — Mason Cooley Copy Share Image
“I feel like I’m going to die,’ he says. ‘Could we talk for a few minutes before you die?’ ‘Only if you… — Doug MacLeod Copy Share Image
Trains are not any more energy efficient than the average automobile, with both getting about 48 passenger miles to the gallon. — Ronald Reagan Copy Share Image
Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend. He traveled the land in search of… — Po - The Dragon Warrior Copy Share Image
How am I supposed to grow up and make life choices when I still use my fingers to count, and I still… — Slowly_fading Copy Share Image
I like doing comedy, I like doing drama. Naturally I like to do, I like doing dramas, I like conflict, and when… — Matt Dillon Copy Share Image
“His appearance projected danger and reinforced the common knowledge that one did not want to piss off a demon, especially this one.” — Kiersten Fay Copy Share Image
“For a beverage, you asked for some “cherry-assed Kool Aid.” Okay, now you’re just adding “assed” in places where it doesn’t even… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
Journeys start from where we are. Everything starts from where we are. Where we are is where we're supposed to be. — Evelyn Eaton Copy Share Image
Ladies don't ask for much. They just want shoes, diamonds, less work, free money & a perfect man. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Got no checkbooks, got no banks. Still Id like to express my thanks. — Irving Berlin Copy Share Image
During the act of writing I have told myself something that I didn't know I knew. — Gail Godwin Copy Share Image
I Wanna Get Yu Sweatinq , I Wanna Get Yu Breathinq Hard ;D ……… So Yu Wanna Go Joqqinq With Me ;D ? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world! — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
When I said What did I do this time? I really meant What did you catch me doing? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I trip every time I see you or hear your name. I guess I really did fall for you. — Ritu Copy Share Image
The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
If in the after life there is not music, we will have to import it. — Domenico Cieri Copy Share Image
“I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I’d better go drown myself before I freeze to death. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it. — George Burns Copy Share Image
Life's pretty funny when you're objectively on the outside looking at it. — Philip Seymour Hoffman Copy Share Image
I don't have a gun, but if I did, I would shoot a baby deer in the mouth and feel nothing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Things which you do not hope happen more frequently than things which you do hope. — Plautus Copy Share Image
Last night's homer was Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
When the ax came into the forest the trees said the handle is one of us. — Alice Walker Copy Share Image
I need to be cheered up a lot. I think funny people are people who need to be cheered up. — Lynda Barry Copy Share Image
