Saying, That's crazy when you haven't been paying attention to what someone's saying. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ali’s got a left, Ali’s got a right, if he hits you once, you’re asleep for the night — Muhammad Ali Copy Share Image
I don't like egocentricity, which is something that I have arduously battled in myself my entire life. — Wojciech Kurtyka Copy Share Image
Girls get cramps, bloating and irritability. Guys should get a good strong kick in the balls once a month — Sheryne Brooks Copy Share Image
We all hate waiting anxiously for a text, then realizing you forgot to click SEND. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Where are you going this hot day, Mis’ DeJong?” Selina sat up very straight. “To Bagdad, Mrs. Pool.” “To — Where’s that? What for?”… — Edna Ferber Copy Share Image
When I was a child, I did swimming, running, ballet and even karate. But I got kicked out of karate class on… — Maria Sakkari Copy Share Image
Not that I don't think irreverent humor and someone being filthy is funny, I just do what I do. Any comedian would… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
We often laughed at others in our house, and I picked up the craft of being polite while people were present and… — Muriel Spark Copy Share Image
I had one guy say, 'I watched your show and didn't agree with what you said.' And I'm like, 'It's a joke.… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
This is it. It's for all the marbles. I'm sitting in the house loading up the pump, I'm loading up the Uzis,… — Kevin Garnett Copy Share Image
In my film "Benny's Video," I depicted violence but I failed to say all that I had to say, so I wanted… — Michael Haneke Copy Share Image
“Not Carnegie, Vanderbilt, and Astor together could have raised money enough to buy a quarter share in my little dog.” — Ernest Thompson Seton Copy Share Image
Provide good content and you’ll earn the right to promote your product. — Guy Kawasaki Copy Share Image
Sometimes I feel pretty good about myself. Other times I eat the whole bag of M&Ms... — Rick Sutter Copy Share Image
My wife had a go at me last night. She said, Youll drive me to my grave. I had the car out… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
I'd love to come celebrate Canada Day with you but I've already spent all my money on healthcare... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We and we alone have the power to change our lives, and we can choose to do so at any moment. — Debbie Ford Copy Share Image
It is not what you do, but what you stop doing that matters. — Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj Copy Share Image
During physics class I always think that: when am I going to use this in my life ! — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Never let them see you in public after you've turned 35. You're finished if you do! — Norma Shearer Copy Share Image
“He balled his hand into a fist. "You are such a bitch." "Woof, woof," I said.” — Laurell K. Hamilton Copy Share Image
Most men don't realize their wife's worth till a judge decides the alimony amount — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Leadership is like beauty - it's hard to define but you know it when you see it. — Warren G. Bennis Copy Share Image
Friends knock on your door. Best friends walk into your house and start eating. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate. — Nancy Astor Copy Share Image
I'm probably not very good at rom-com, being funny on demand; I'll leave that to the comedians. — Richard Armitage Copy Share Image
