Ops wrong person! Cancel! Cancel! CANCEL! *message sent* Ok kill me now! — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the BANKER says, If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The time to read is any time: no apparatus, no appointment of time and place, is necessary. — Holbrook Jackson Copy Share Image
Nobody uses his car in New York, because so many people use it that traffic is congested and unbearably slow. — George Mikes Copy Share Image
LSD is a psychedelic drug which occasionally causes psychotic behavior in people who have NOT taken it. — Timothy Leary Copy Share Image
Don't ever be depending on a rabbit's foot for good luck, when it obviously didn't work for the rabbit. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just saw a homeless guy buy a cup of coffee, drink it, then use the cup to beg and make his money… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
If you ask me, I'd like to become the first female president. That would be really cool. The first thing I would… — Jennifer Lopez Copy Share Image
If God dwells inside of us like people say, I sure hope he's in themodd for Enchiladas, because that's what he's getting — Toni Watson Copy Share Image
Funny, isn't it? The airlines go to all that trouble to keep you from taking a gun on board, then they just… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I had this dream and I really wanted to be a star. I was almost a monster in the way that I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I see no difference between my pictures that people consider amusing and the rest. To me, it's all serious work - they're… — Elliott Erwitt Copy Share Image
“I’d never heard of a rain check before, but hoped it was something storm rescuers bought bags of souvenirs for their kids… — Amber McRee Turner Copy Share Image
The paternalist is a sentimentalist at heart, and the sentimentalist is always potentially cruel. — Christopher Isherwood Copy Share Image
If I had my life to live over again, Id be a plumber. ~ Albert Einstein . He'd been inspired by porn for sure. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
I say, don't read the classics - try to discover your own classics; every life has its own. — Rudolf Flesch Copy Share Image
I find the world and all it contains extremely fascinating. Is this sinful? — Robert Silverberg Copy Share Image
I love to fight more than I love to win, and that's a funny thing for people to try to understand. — Dan Hooker Copy Share Image
Because we put ourselves in God’s place, He put Himself in our place. — Timothy Keller Copy Share Image
Know the best and highest choices for health and more often choose those things. — Mary Anne Radmacher Copy Share Image
For all the love you've given me, I will one day pay your nursing home bill. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's very rare to be able to do a show where the most important thing is being funny. — Natasia Demetriou Copy Share Image
The things we fear about poetry are the things that are good about poetry. — Jake Adam York Copy Share Image
I think we should see other people until I am absolutely sure I can't do any better than you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My wife said I was bad in bed so I banged her on the coffee table. Location. Location. Location. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can change. You can 'come unto Christ, and be perfected in him.' — Russell M. Nelson Copy Share Image
Oh, this beer here is cold, cold and hop-bitter, no point coming up for air, gulp, till it's all--hahhhh. — Thomas Pynchon Copy Share Image
Tell this imprisoned soul that it will never be owned. Nothing will ever own you. But God. — Yasmin Mogahed Copy Share Image
They told me I didn't understand the assignment, I told them they didn't understand life. — John Lennon Copy Share Image
I always wait for the Times each morning. I look at the obituary column and if I�m not in it, I go… — AEMatthew Copy Share Image
