“You've messed with the wrong god if you get keys to willy wonka chocolate factory and diabetes the same day..” — Animesh Singh Copy Share Image
Know more than other. Work more than other. Expect less than other — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
“It's a shame I'm going to be forced to commit severe testicular trauma upon that boy” — Jenn Bennett Copy Share Image
“Don't think about the writing process too much. Just do one thing: tell the motherfucking story.” — Don Roff Copy Share Image
I think Noah Hawley's writing is hilarious, and I love a good dark joke. — Carrie Coon Copy Share Image
Never underestimate me & mistake my silence as my surrender...That is just the sound of me RELOADING — Iris Thomas Copy Share Image
“My name is Mr Bread." He began writing his name neatly on the board. "But you can call me Peter." Suddenly there… — David Walliams Copy Share Image
Had be been Shakespeare, he would then have written Troilus and Cressidato brand the offending sex; but being only a little dog,… — Robert Louis Stevenson Copy Share Image
A woman gets stretch marks from one of two things. Either she was big and got small or she was small and… — Katt Williams Copy Share Image
It is funny that fans will come up to me constantly asking when I'm going into the Hall of Fame. I respond,… — Ted DiBiase Sr Copy Share Image
My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
When I was a child, I always wanted to be funny and to please people in my family. As you grow up… — Romola Garai Copy Share Image
“We had an unspoken love for one another. Probably because she’d never talk to me or return my phone calls or texts. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
I do keep getting these bad girl roles. The funny thing is that, honestly, I don't think I'm believable as these aristocratic… — Katie McGrath Copy Share Image
I ain't shootin' nobody. So call me a faggot! When the war's over, I'll be the faggot with two legs, thank you! — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Awkward moment when you hit the wrong person even you want to hit someone. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you're a great finisher, you'll become popular. Joe Louis was a great finisher. — Mike Tyson Copy Share Image
My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off — Red Skelton Copy Share Image
Even if it doesn't work, there is something healthy and invigorating about direct action — Henry Miller Copy Share Image
Funny but true! We learn not to trust anyone from those we trusted ONCE! — Senora Roy Copy Share Image
Sygmnd was a poor Austrian who'd lost all the vowels in his name in a boating accident. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I can't wait for your wedding reception to show everyone why I'm divorced. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm a bitter, sad, sour young man who makes a career out of hastling people with real careers. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
There's not a single job in this town. There's nothin', nada, zip. Unless you wanna workforty hours a week. — Jeff Daniels Copy Share Image
When I read messages from my friends, I read them in my mind using their voice. — Abhishek Tiwari Copy Share Image
Nigel Mansell is the last person in the race apart from the five in front of him — Murray Walker Copy Share Image
For life in general, there is but one decree; youth is a blunder, manhood a struggle, old age a regret. — Benjamin Disraeli Copy Share Image
You cannot, I repeat, successfully acquire it and preserve your modesty at the same time. — Seneca the Younger Copy Share Image
