We're almost like Bonnie & Clyde. Of course, he's Bonnie and I'm Clyde. — Alex Riley Copy Share Image
Her:thinking of him..<3 me:oh so we both were thinking about harry potter <3 — Spanky Pants Copy Share Image
If I ask to suck your boobs when I wake up, does that count as sleeping like a baby? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Who's your daddy?' Myrnin stared at him as if he'd gone completely mental. ' Excuse me? ” — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
“I’m not aspiring to be someone else – If I’m me for the rest of my life then so be it” — Terry Lander Copy Share Image
I grew up between Detroit and Ghana, and I had to make friends in an instant. It sharpened my wit, and also,… — Sam Richardson Copy Share Image
Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most… — Gary Bolden Copy Share Image
I'm not a naturally funny person, and I also can't dance, so I feel like I'm lacking the key things that you… — Benee Copy Share Image
Matt and I have set a date. Matt and I will tie the knot New Years Day in the town of Swampscott,… — Ben Affleck Copy Share Image
I would do it today because the thing that appealed to me was not necessarily the mechanics of the robot, but it… — John Badham Copy Share Image
There are certain sorts of jokes which have only to do with the substitution of the unexpected word in a familiar context.… — Tom Stoppard Copy Share Image
“Sudenly Garge spring up and walk to the wall to admire some modarn art hanging on Frank and Estele Catandas wall. Hes… — Seinfeld 2000 Copy Share Image
Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
On the best tactic when playing alongside Kareem Abdul-Jabbar- Just give him the ball. — Magic Johnson Copy Share Image
I showed my therapist some of my tweets and now she's seeing a therapist. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
We only have babies when we're young enough not to know how grim life turns out. — Gregory Maguire Copy Share Image
Sorry I can't give you my soul I already sold sooooo I guess you can;t touch me — MrAwesome Copy Share Image
Money. You don't know where it's been, but you put it where your mouth is. And it talks! — Dana Gioia Copy Share Image
Each success brings with it the potential of failure and each failure brings with it the potential of success. — John F. Kennedy Copy Share Image
When I was younger I rememberwatching two drops of rain roll down window and pretending it was a race. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
He who laughs last is the one who is looking at the boobies of the girl who is telling the joke… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
It is not a choice of life, it is a choice of death. If this is life, I'd rather die. — Ferdinand Marcos Copy Share Image
Share love. Share time. Share friendship. Just share. Put some love into everything you do. — Yehuda Berg Copy Share Image
Everybody knows somebody who's Facebook relationship status should be 'Still banging my ex.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That is truth. In that truth, there is real happiness. And there is nothing that could disturb that happiness. — Radhanath Swami Copy Share Image
If I have ever said anything to insult you, please let me know, I might wanna say it again! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
After you get a job and before you have to do it. Nothing beats that. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
It's funny how you never know who you're going to share your life with. — Zal Batmanglij Copy Share Image
Admit it, you have sarcastic conversations with yourself when people are ignoring you.. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I hospitalized a rock, killed a brick...I'm so bad I make medicine sick! — Muhammad Ali Copy Share Image
I'm not raising the children-I'm raising the grown-ups that they're going to be. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
