My knees on the ground, dear father, don't let me break, please make me stronger. — Rihanna Copy Share Image
If you can't be a good example . . . you'll just have to be a horrible warning — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is most afraid of being raped? — Natasha Leggero Copy Share Image
We do not obtain the most precious gifts by going in search of them but by waiting for them. — Simone Weil Copy Share Image
I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
A large section of the intelligentsia seems wholly devoid of intelligence. — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
There's a late-night scene in every town, and everyone has something going on, ... I've heard good stories about (Syracuse); this is… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
The funny thing is I have known AJ Lee. She started in New Jersey; I worked in New York. We have crossed… — Zelina Vega Copy Share Image
I watched a lot of silent directors who were absolutely great like John Ford and Fritz Lang, Tod Browning, and also some… — Michel Hazanavicius Copy Share Image
Unless someone wants to look funny, I'll not recommend anyone to copy my bowling action. But on a serious note, with the… — Virat Kohli Copy Share Image
Dear Mom, How can you hear me mumble under my breath, but you cant hear me yell, WHAT? when you scream my… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
I used to write out of angst. My writing was quite miserable, quite angry, even when it was funny. It was based… — David Thewlis Copy Share Image
Male comics are always coming up to me and they're like 'Hey Natasha. Don't you think you're a little attractive to be… — Natasha Leggero Copy Share Image
It's funny, each time you come back to a tournament you start to feel more and more welcome. It gets familiar. That… — Alex de Minaur Copy Share Image
Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican? — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
Ive come to the conclusion that Mondays last 50% longer than the other days...each. — Turtle Dundee Copy Share Image
I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left-winger in the Premiership, but there are none better. — Ron Atkinson Copy Share Image
To be aware of limitations is already to be beyond them. — Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel Copy Share Image
“No, I don't want you to leave. I'm just grabbing your coat and nudging your toward the door for fun #AHOLE” — Andy Ostrom Copy Share Image
Ladies and gentleman are permitted to have friends in the kennel, but not in the kitchen. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
That one friend that can make anything funny just by the way they say it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That's the nature of research you don't know what in hell you're doing. — Harold Eugene Edgerton Copy Share Image
I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said "No, one drag is enough". — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“I would have to hide in the jungle and live wild amoung the pandas” — Diane Messidoro Copy Share Image
Stop checking your phone nobody loves you! - me at the cinema to anyone checking their phone — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Loose ladies on the road will drive you crazy, every no, becomes a maybe. — Eric Clapton Copy Share Image
The more I read, the more I was led to abhor and detest my enslavers. — Frederick Douglass Copy Share Image
Dude say grace next time you eat. Fine Ill say grace I see your girlfriend — Ross Ten Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when someone says something super funny and you react 2 minutes later — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You want everyone to be great and funny. I'm not saying I'm great, but I'm funny. — Jon Lovitz Copy Share Image
“I roofied you because I wanted you naked … and afraid, " Tyler says again in a sinister voice” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
If my mum or my wife says that something isn't funny, I know I've struck gold. — Peter Kay Copy Share Image
If a woman has her tampon behind her ear and can't find her cigarette watch out. She's having a terrible day. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
