Enjoy life. Think of all the women who passed up dessert on the Titanic. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you tell me plz because it's shorter than please. I'll say no because it's shorter than yes. — Uchiha Copy Share Image
You lose nothing through peace. You can lose everything through war. — Pope Pius XII Copy Share Image
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Jerry Seinfeld has an interesting theory. He goes, '20 pounds up or down, and you lose your funny.' — Jason Alexander Copy Share Image
“Silence had weight. And in that moment, it was heavier than both of them could carry.” — Janus Lucky Copy Share Image
Ladies are honest. They're my motivation. They know what's funny, and the dudes just follow. — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each others hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“She didn't care that people called her a bitch. 'It's just another word for feminist,' she told me with pride.” — Gayle Forman Copy Share Image
I'm doing what I love, and then I get months and months of rest. I have a lot of money for a… — Jennifer Lawrence Copy Share Image
I wonder if Jersey Shore is making Italian-Americans long for the days of only being stereotyped as members of murderous crime syndicates. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny because I think that genre literature can be looked down on by literature literature. And I like that! I like… — Don Winslow Copy Share Image
Corin Nemec, who was on television for years, has been through a similar thing. We both had TV shows, we've had to… — David Faustino Copy Share Image
My annoying friend said that running will get my mind off things. He's right, I felt much better after I ran him… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If I am totally honest, I would have to say that ''Allo 'Allo!' was not my cup of tea, even though lots… — Jo Brand Copy Share Image
I'd like to use Friendship Day to reassure you that you're not the one member of our group no one likes... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If there's one thing I know, it's men. I ought to. It's been my life's work. — Marie Dressler Copy Share Image
How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak? — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting. — George Burns Copy Share Image
Almost considered doing something with my life, but thenI sat down and logged into Facebook — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can't find someone funny whom I don't like. Hitler told great jokes. I didn't find it funny at all. — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
“Being a laborer with one hand is about as useful as being a sperm donor with one nut.” — Devon McCormack Copy Share Image
Strangest thing is, you learn the value of experience only with experience — Ranvir Shorey Copy Share Image
You can do nothing that is in conflict with your own image of what you really are. — James Van Fleet Copy Share Image
When I get a phone call, I always wait for it to ring a certain amount of times before I answer it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For me, the sun used to shine right out of your butt. Now, all I see when I look there is a… — Bird Copy Share Image
Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer. — David Acfield Copy Share Image
-Why are all rich men jerks?- -Same reason all beautiful women are bitches- — Anonymous Copy Share Image
