All those couples who had fun on Valentines day will be blessed today Happy childrens day :P — Uchiha Copy Share Image
From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that's what I had to do. — Billy Crystal Copy Share Image
Hate broke hoez...theyll rather open they legs instead of a account — IG:catone_2_funny Copy Share Image
No I'm not single, I'm in a long distance relationship because my boyfriend lives in the future. — Cuts And Scars Copy Share Image
“ Illicit flight Alfa Bravo Charlie quickly reached a predetermined altitude and stopped dead. The passengers on board screamed the way people… — A.R. Merrydew Copy Share Image
The funny thing about being a preacher's kid is when you're playing tournaments on Saturdays and Sundays, you miss a lot of… — Christopher Eubanks Copy Share Image
“Nancy was so thrilled, I thought she was going to kiss me—and I thought I was actually going to have to hit… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
“What the hell is so funny?" "First of all," she said, her confidence growing, "they're not my MASTERS. I don't have a… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
I see a funny guy who's imperfect, but has a great heart and no vanity when it comes to what he'll do… — Marlon Wayans Copy Share Image
“As soon as the door closed, Uncle Enzo looked around. "I say he needs money." Uncle Nico shook his head. "He's been… — Ashleigh Stevens Copy Share Image
American radio is the reverse of the Shakespearean stage. In Shakespeare's time the world's greatest dramas were acted with the most primitive… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
That's all we had when I was a kid: Robitussin. No matter what you got, Robitussin better handle it. "Daddy, I got… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
comedians are people who say funny things, and comics are people who say things funny. — Staton Rabin Copy Share Image
Twitter should have RETWEET, & then RE-MOTHERFUCKING-TWEET for that real shit. — Christian Heggs Copy Share Image
It's funny how many people that I've come across in my time that have gone on to achieve great success. — Samoa Joe Copy Share Image
I lost my job as a cricket commentator for saying "I don't want to bore you with the details". — Milton Jones Copy Share Image
“Not everyone who stares likes us; we may look weird enough to get everyone’s attention.” — M.F. Moonzajer Copy Share Image
There's never any reason to trust someone. If there's a reason, then it's not trust. -Terence — Gerald Morris Copy Share Image
Dad, Im hungry..Hi hungry, Im dad..Dad ! Im serious.. No, you're hungry.. You're joking.. No, I'm dad — Carissa Aydaa Copy Share Image
Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of your ears — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
It was really difficult for guys like me who were just young punks to come in and sell a funny idea. — Butch Hartman Copy Share Image
Forgetting the extermination is part of the extermination itself. — Jean Baudrillard Copy Share Image
Come like a Horse, Sit like a Thief, And Go like a King… This Slogan was written on a.. Public Toilet Door. — Pacifiersucker Copy Share Image
Lets play post office¦ Lick You, stick you, and send you on your way... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When I say I love schools I mean I love meeting my friends and playing with them :) — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Never let the things money can buy, rob you of the things money can't buy. — Adrian Rogers Copy Share Image
Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.' — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
I tried it 100 or a million times it couldn't happen again. If I could, I would have carried on playing. — Alex Ferguson Copy Share Image
Barking dogs seldom bite, but beware of those dogs that know this proverb. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
